Saturday, October 25, 2014

Audible Spinstering: Jesus Land

I know, I know. You're tired of hearing about all the audiobooks. Bear with me, though. I was a sick little spinster this week. And, if you'd already read The Glass Castle, then maybe you're hankering for something just as crazy. Well, this could be it!

Today's book was yet another memoir and suggestion from my coworker, David. Let me just start out by saying that Jesus Land: A Memoir is full on sad and insane. It's the story of a girl (Julia Scheeres),  her adopted brother David, and their experiences growing up. A large portion of the book takes place in the Dominican Republic at a reform camp called Escuela Caribe. According to a quick Google search, Escuela Caribe is also the subject of a documentary called Kidnapped for Christ, one of whose co-executive producers was none other than Lance Bass.

So, if you're not scared of a little shock and sadness, then I say go for it. I couldn't tear myself away. I'm pretty sure I've only ruined it for you a little.

Friday, October 24, 2014

#FAFATL 5: Black Cats!

Hooray for Friday! You know what that means: Free Art Friday. Today I've made three little canvases (well, two little canvases and one little canvas board) featuring little black cats. I figured it was both spinsterly (because...cats) and seasonally appropriate with Halloween nearing.

These little magnets lean more toward the "craft" than "art" today because I broke down and used a little puff paint. I just felt like somehow Halloween warranted puff paint. It's not glow in the dark, but it is neon, which I think is always fun and a little spooky.

So happy Friday to you, and if you're in the Atlanta area, keep an eye out on my Instagram to see where you can hunt these little baby kittens down!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Spinster Sick Day: (not Ebola)

Many of you may know that the CDC is in Atlanta, and two of the first American Ebola Patients were treated at Emory here in Atlanta. As such, I feel like there's a pretty hilarious amount of panic here in Atlanta about Ebola, and I am not immune. That's why, when I found myself stricken with a pretty intense stomach virus on Monday night, I had a fleeting thought that it had happened. Rest assured, though, it was not Ebola. It was, however, pretty intense.

The first night I was sick I couldn't sleep, but ever night and day since I've slept like the dead, like that kind of sleep where you wake up and you're not sure where you are...or even who you are. This kind of sleep, oddly, results in some very coherent dreams. In fact, just before I woke up this morning I had a dream that I bought a horse from my paternal Grandfather, and she was named Virginia Highland. There was no saddle, so I rode her laying on my stomach, and after I'd brushed her mane, she sent me to Target to buy her a list of apple flavored snacks and drinks because she was having her "lady time." Only when I awoke did I realize how much more this made sense than most of my usual dreams.

When I went to the doctor, I also learned about the BRAT diet (Bananas, (white) Rice, Applesauce, Toast), which is what you should eat after a virus like this. I had no idea, and I thought I'd share.

Now that you know way too much about this little illness, I'd like to conclude by saying that I am pleased to have spinstered through it. The last thing anyone wants while they're feeling this way is knowing someone else is hearing them throw up all night.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Audible Spinstering: Dad Is Fat


The other day I was reading suggestions on Audible.com, and one of the reviewers was saying they couldn't wait for Jim Gaffigan's new book, Food: A Love Story to come out because they loved Dad is Fat so much. Honestly, the title of the new book was what interested me most. I felt it pretty much summed up my relationship with food as well.  The day I read that review, Food: A Love Story wasn't out yet, so I listened to Dad is Fat.

Now, let me preface all of this by saying that prior to reading this book, I was not familiar with Jim Gaffigan's "Hot Pockets" routine. However, when he kept talking about it in the book, I thought I should check it out, and begin a hot pocket lover myself, I didn't actually think it was that funny. Sigh. I hate to say that. I had such high hopes.

Now onto the book. At first blush, the book seems to be a love song to his wife, Jeannie. But as the book progresses, he talks more about her making him sandwiches and cleaning things up, and I just started to have a bad taste in my mouth about his abilities as a human being. I'm sure he meant to poke  fun at himself here, but it came off as just the slightest bit sexist. You can make your own sandwich, sir.

The rest of the book is less about food and more about the Gaffigans having five kids and less than five beds. You can imagine how after The Glass Castle, this might make me feel a little uncomfortable. However, perhaps that's just because I'm not a parent.

In the end, I decided that perhaps I would have enjoyed this book a lot more if I had kids. As it stands, it wasn't my favorite, which is sad. I usually like comic essays. This collection, though, was not necessarily for spinsters.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Audible Spinstering: The Glass Castle

Jeannette-Walls-Face, Jeannette-Walls-Portrait, The-Glass-Castle
The other day I was standing in the Starbucks line with my coworker David, and we got to talking about my Audible.com addiction. David said he was sure I had read The Glass Castle, but that if I hadn't, he thought it'd be right up my alley. Since I hadn't read it, I went directly to my desk and downloaded the book, put my headphones in, and was rapt for the next two days.

Jeannette Walls's The Glass Castle: A Memoir is an insane trip through Walls's childhood with two irresponsible parents and a whole lot of ingenuity. While some of it is sweet or funny, a lot of it leaves me thinking,"there but for the grace of God go I," especially when she talks about her artistic mother. The audiobook is read by Walls, and her voice is astoundingly upbeat throughout. I almost wanted her to be a little more angry about all the crazy things her mostly unemployed parents did. However, no matter what her tone of voice, I must say that David was absolutely right. This book was amazing, and when it was over, I wanted to hear more.

So, if you're looking for a crazy read that will make you really appreciate having stable and productive parents, I highly recommend The Glass Castle. It knocked my socks off, and I think Oprah liked it, too. And David, if you're reading this, thank you. That was an excellent recommendation.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Happy 2nd Spinsterversary!

Well, Spinsters, it's happened. Another year of spinstering has passed, and I'm still here, living it up, and eating breakfast in my bed. I wish I could say that I was finished working on The Spinsterhood Diaries: Year Two, but it is still a work in progress. When the book is available for purchase, I will let you know! This year's will have fun things like coloring pages, a crossword puzzle, a word search, and photos. Hooray!

Now, in honor of another glorious year of spinstering, here's a list of ten reasons to be glad of spinsterhood:

1. The thermostat is always set to what I want.
          That's right. If I want it to be 65 degrees when I go to sleep at night, that's my affair and no one else's.

2. I always choose what movie I see.
          Yep, no stupid man humor movies....unless I want to see them.

3. I control the remote control.
          If I want to watch JTV, I'll watch JTV. If I want to change the channel every time sports are on, I will most certainly do that. If I want to only watch the ice skating portions of the Olympics, I'll do that, too.

4. No one can judge my pants-free lifestyle.
          ...even if my hind quarters are a little lumpier these days.

5. I never have to check in with anyone before spending money.
          So If I buy two pair of Coach moccasins because they make me feel like someone is massaging my feet all day, then that's what I'll do.

6. I can sleep diagonally in my bed
          Sometimes it's necessary.

7. I don't have to talk to anyone in the morning
          I'll never understand how some people can be so chatty before they've been awake for more than two hours.

8. Crafts can take over my whole apartment.
          And, of course, they often do.

9. No one ever has to know how many freezer meals I've eaten this year.
          And on some levels, even I don't want to know.

10. I don't have to share a Netflix Account
          I'd like to keep this relationship exclusive, thank you.

So, ladies, Happy Spinsterversary! I'm so glad we're still together.
       

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Spinster Shopping: More Flats!

shopping-for-ballet-flats
As promised, I'm back with more shoes today. However, for those of you who aren't as into shopping, I promise this'll wrap up the flats shopping for the time being.

Most of the picks from today are under $100, but for a few, I had to go a little over...or perhaps a lot over. In any case, maybe you're looking to buy yourself a little luxurious treat. And why shouldn't you? You're a lady, and your feet are pretty slow to gain or lose any weight...so...you can even wear your shoes while you eat all the pizza rolls.

Now, the moment you've been waiting for. Prices and links below!

1. Adriana Papell Zoe Rhinestone Flat: Lord and Taylor, $99

2.Enzo Angiolini Carolin Flats: Lord and Taylor, $59.99

3. Twin-Set Simona Barbieri: Yoox, $131

4. Halogen Kayla d'Orsay Flat: Nordstrom, $79.95

5. Printed Leather Pointy Ballet Flat: Zara, $79.90

6. MIA Abi Flat: 6pm, $23.70

7. Scalloped Laser-cut Ballet Flats: Charlotte Russe, $22.99

8. The D'Orsay Flat in Spot Dot: Madewell, $74.99

9. Viv printed Flats: J.Crew, $149.99

10. Milla Scallop Flat: Loeffler Randall, $295