Thursday, September 18, 2014

Orange, Pink, and Sundry Links

We're going into our busy time at work which means that at the end of the day I unfortunately haven't got too many useful thoughts in my brain. I mean, they're useful, but only to me; most of them are "food." As such, today I'm going to share a pink and orange scribble-doodle I made while blankly staring at my TV last night as well as some links I thought were magnificent in my stupor. I'm looking at them now, and I still think they're pretty cool. However, If they aren't, I am terribly sorry. Just pin the image on Pinterest, and we'll forget all about this.

And now, without further ado (or "a-don't," as my high school drama teacher used to say), let's click some links!

1. The Broke Girl's Guide to Fall Makeup from Refinery 29. I grabbed this one from Alex's Pinterest, and I love it. I especially want that Aztec stuff.

2. This guy who I saw (with my eyes, from across the street...not romantically) many a time in New York has some wise words to share about making money with a cat on your head. And if you haven't perused Humans of New York before, I think it's worth a look.

3. I know I'm a season late posting this, but Elie Saab is such a gangster. I want all the dresses. Do yourself a favor and look at that whole slideshow.

4. Sometimes I think I should have been a fashion photographer, but since I'm not, I'd settle for some giant pompon shoes instead. Because I certainly am not a trained photographer. I just like looking at the pictures.

5. If you are a child of the nineties, or if you raised one, you will appreciate this slideshow of trapper keepers from the Today Show.

Hungry for more links? Design is Mine always has a "best of the week" post, which is always full of delightful references.

Now, enjoy your day!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Wednesday Fun: Makeup Coloring Page

Lately I've been using my NYX bright blue eyeliner, and I must say I have been getting all sorts of compliments. And of course I love that. All this makeup talk, though, has left me thinking about, well, makeup. Since I've already done a post on what's in the ol' spinster's makeup bag (see the eyeliner link above), I decided today I should just draw the makeup instead of talking about it.

If you click on the image above, you can print it out, and color it to your liking, making all the creams, powders, lipsticks, serums, brushes, polishes, etc whatever color you'd want! It's the next best thing to actually making your own shades. And, now that I've mentioned that, see below a list of some makeup DIY links you can use to actually make your own real life makeup.

1. Combine old lipsticks into a new shade! from Labmuffin

2. Make your own lipstick colors out of crayons! from MadisRadd on YouTube (tutorial starts at about minute 1:35)

3. Make your own nail polish from Barbie's Beauty Bits

4. Make your own eyeliner from Coconut Mama

5. DIY eyeshadow palette from Rookie

Enjoy your coloring and - if you're adventurous - your makeup making!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Spinster Food: Gluten Free Spaghetti

When I first became gluten free, I tried a few of the name brand gluten free pastas. They were all right, but I wasn't all that impressed. But unless I wanted to look pregnant every time I had a craving for noodles, I had to make do. That is, until I discovered Kroger's gluten free spaghetti. It's cheaper than the name brands, and it is delicious. Last night I made a whole pack, and after I'd eaten a normal sized portion, I decided I needed to make sure the rest was still delicious by eating a few more forkfuls out of the pot. It was as good as it was in normal dinner wear.

In case you're wondering what, other than gluten free noodles, is the secret to my spaghetti success, I'm happy to let you know. Firstly, be a hungry spinster who will actually eat anything other than celery or olives. Secondly, check out this list that may or may not be loosely defined as a recipe.

Spinster Spaghetti.

What you need:
- gluten free spaghetti noodles (preferably from Kroger)
- 1 large can of Hunt's Pasta sauce
- minced garlic in the jar
- dried basil
- Salt
- Olive Oil
- Parmesan Cheese

What to do:
1. In a large pot, boil the water and then follow the directions on the back of the noodle package. Just boil all the noodles...but try not to eat them all in one sitting. It'll be tough, but if you resist, you can have them again for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner the next day.

2. Put some salt and olive oil in the pot while you're boiling the noodles.

3. When the noodles are done, pour them all into a large colander, and turn the burner to "low"

4. In the same pot you used to cook the noodles, pour all the tomato sauce, and put it on the "low" burner.

5. Pour the noodles back on top.

6. Add about a knife-full of minced garlic, salt and pepper to taste (remember, you're making a giant pot, so be generous), and some basil.

7. Stir it all together until it all seems pretty warm, then sprinkle some parmesan cheese in and stir again.

8. Keep adding parmesan cheese until it's the consistency and warmth you'd like to eat, and then eat it...and try to save some for at least one more meal.

I'm pretty sure you all knew how to make spaghetti, but in writing down this "recipe," I got to relive my dinner one more time. Thank you for your indulgence.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Miss Spinster America

I'm from the South, so last night I watched the Miss America pageant. While I wish there were more plus sized contestants, the pageant is always pretty exciting. It should be noted that this is the closest thing to a non-olympic sporting event that I like watching on TV. In fact, I feel like there should be bookies who take bets on this event and potentially a fantasy pageant league.

While I was watching the swimsuit competition, I had the distinct feeling that perhaps I should have eaten about 50% less than I ate this weekend. There should have been no hot Krispy Kreme, no chocolate milk, and no peanut butter m&ms. And that's just to start. As I lamented the fact that I was fourteen the last time my thighs were as slim as the scantily clad ladies' sauntering down the runway, I decided I needed to design my own Miss America pageant wear.

Firstly, I would represent the Spinster state of being, so I'd be "Miss Spinster." My talent would probably include pizza, netflix, loving kittens, or potentially rapping. My platform would be kitten advocacy or potentially singles' awareness.

At the top of this post, you'll see the sketch of the Miss Spinster Eveningwear ensemble. This includes a sequin-and-bead-emblished wrap dress (re: fancy speak for secret bathrobe), a pair of pink high heeled ostrich feather mules, and a luxe terry cloth turban (towel). The look is completed with drop earrings and clear spectacles.

The other sketch you'll see here is the spinster's answer to the swimwear problem. Clearly the chunk sitch should not be parading around on national television. That is, not unless the body type of pageant queens drastically changes before The state of being a spinster gains statehood and I am subsequently chosen as their representative in the Miss America pageant. 

A neoprene wetsuit certainly qualifies as swimwear. In fact, with how cold the water off the coast of Atlantic City is, it's potentially more appropriate for swimming in the region where the pageant is held. The benefit here for the spinster, though, is that neoprene is thick and stretchy, smoothing out all lumps, bumps, and imperfections while offering total coverage of any other...textural issues. 

To make the wetsuit perfectly pageant-appropriate, it is, of course, embellished with miniature Swarovski Crystals in varying sizes. To add an extra level of visual texture, the color of the rhinestones varies from smoke to clear to clear iridescent. Neoprene insets, piping, and cover lock stitches are a nice red-orange neoprene. the look is completed with a pair of embellished black pumps.

Now that we've discussed my ensembles for my entry in the Miss America pageant, can we discuss how horrifying Miss New York's talent was? If you didn't see it, please google it. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Spinspiration: Photoshop painting

It's Sunday, and you may want to do a little Pinterest perusing. I, for one, peruse probably at least twenty-five times a day. I know. It is excessive, but I use it for work.

One of my favorite boards is one I named "Inspiration/Mood Board Images." For me, this board is what I use as a sort of image dump for things I may want to use for future mood boards or other visually-based creative projects. Lately, I've found myself most drawn to images with freeform or abstract designs that are mostly just about color. Some of the best examples of artists who work this way are Britt Bass Turner, Federico Saenz-Recio, and Lola Donoghue.

So, today I've made some (quite derivative) pieces in photoshop just for some fun and visual inspiration. Who knows? I may even order some prints. And, of course, I thought I'd share. Feel free to pin them to your own inspiration board!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Before You Get Out of Bed: 73 Questions With Anna Wintour

It's Saturday morning, and if you're anything like me, you're doing a little internet surfing before you get out of bed. So, today I want to make that surfing a little more multimedia.

Recently a coworker linked me to Vogue's web series 73 Questions. In each video, an unseen interviewer asks fashionable celebrities 73 rapid-fire questions, which the interviewee answers just as quickly as they are asked. Each episode is short, sweet, and a lot of fun to watch.

Yesterday, while I was watching The Today Show, I saw that the most recent episode of 73 Questions featured none other than Vogue's Anna Wintour. Needless to say, I navigated over to the website immediately, and I was not disappointed.

So, for your convenience, I've embedded the video below. Enjoy!

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday Fun: A Kitten Gif and a Crossword

After I made today's gif, I promptly had a dream that I had a very sweet kitten who could talk to me. It was one of the best dreams I've had in a long time. I believe this is the type of visions one has on a spinster vision quest. The thing is, I didn't even have to go into the woods and fast to see it. I just ate dinner and took a shower. I was sad, though, to wake up and realize that I did not, in fact, have a magical talking kitten.

Today is Friday, and the kitten is expressing how all of us feel about this day of the week. Last week I made a word search. Today I thought I'd up my game a little and make a spinsterly crossword. The clues are a mixture of history, current events, and information from previous posts on The Spinsterhood Diaries. Good luck! Click below and print yours out!

Happy Friday!