Sunday, January 20, 2013

#26: Go to the movies...by yourself

I love a good movie. Heck, I love a mediocre movie. The truth is, I just love going to the movies. I love it so much I usually go about once a week. 

On Monday, everyone asks what I did over the weekend, and when I say I saw this movie or that movie, they always ask with whom I went. But I never understand why they look so sad or confused when I say "myself."

The truth is, as I've said before, going to the movies by yourself is a sort of freedom and relaxation that just can't be had when others are around. And now, of course, I will tell you why:

1. What you see: When you're going to the movies, you can see whatever you want without having to convince anyone else it's worth seeing. And once you get there, if it's not that great, so what? You can leave, or you can stay. You're not responsible for anyone else's enjoyment except your own.

2. When you see it: One of the best parts about going to the movies alone is that you can decide you're going, like, five minutes before the movie starts. There's no need for coordination. If you go before 12 pm, most movie theaters have some kind of half-price deal. No one ever wants to do this with me, though. But what else am I going to do since I can't sleep past 8 AM? 

3. No Talking: Now, it is a pet peeve of mine to be asked questions or whispered to during a movie. No, I do not know what's happening any more than you do. We are watching the movie in the theater at the same time. Neither of us has seen this movie before. However, I will say that in my spintsterhood, I have become that annoying theater patron who turns their head sharply to the side in hopes that the person behind me will notice that their chatter is disturbing me. Already on the way to cranky old lady. 

4. Snacks: Perhaps one of the biggest reasons I'm a spinster is that I absolutely hate to share. I feel like it becomes a competition at some point to either make sure you get your half of the given treat, or conversely to leave as much for the other person as possible. In the end, get your own treat. I like to stop by the ol' Rite Aid and grab myself a little bag of fun-sized candies and hide them in my spinster-sized purse.

5. Hand-holding: You just don't have to be concerned about whether this is or is not happening. Or is or isn't supposed to be happening. You're free to draw your knees up and cross your arms if you want. Or hold your coat. Or laugh really loud. Do what you gotta do.

6. Leaving: I'm not a credits-watcher, but I know some people are. I'm always trying to leave the minute the first bit of text starts to roll, but then there's always that awkward moment when you realize you're catching a flick with someone who politely watches the credits. Then you feel like a jerk. But you also feel like you're holding everyone else from leaving the aisle. It's so complicated!

In conclusion: Go to the movies by yourself today. Bonus points if you sneakily double feature. 

5 comments:

  1. You are hilarious. I love this blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, and thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  2. Amen on all points. I thought I was the only person who hates to share food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting! And I'm sure there are others out there like us...I ordered it, so I want to eat it!

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete