Saturday, May 11, 2013

Ugh...Shaving your legs.

It should come as a surprise to exactly none of you that I hate to shave my legs. When you really think about it, it's really not that big of a deal. Somehow, though, it's just such a chore. And unless you're wearing a dress that day, what in the world is the point? So, of course, here are five reasons shaving your legs is the worst.

1. It makes your skin dry and sensitive.
          I know, I know. You're thinking, "you just need some lotion." The thing is, though, sometimes you're in the shower, and you decide to shave your legs, but when you get out, you realize you're both in a hurry, and you're going to wear pants. Do you really want lotion all up in the inside of your pants? That is gross.

2. It is dangerous.
          For so many reasons, shaving your legs is dangerous. Firstly, there's a razor involved. That's always dicey around the front and back of the knee as well as the back of your ankle. Secondly, there's the positioning. Balancing on one leg on a wet surface while water pours over you as you hold a sharp object to your skin isn't necessarily the most secure way to start your day. There are so many ways that could go wrong.

3. It's hard to do away from home:
          Firstly, you can't bring razors on an airplane. This means you either have to check a bag or buy a razor when you get to your destination. Either way it's a hassle. Secondly, you've probably figured out your leg-shaving positioning in your home shower as if it were your favorite yoga pose. This has as much to do with the shape of your shower as with the positioning of the shower head, your tools, and whether or not you're willing to sit on the floor. Most of the time, away from home, sitting on the shower or bathtub floor seems questionable.

4. It's hard to remember:
          Refer to reason #1 for how this can be a problem when you're getting dressed. I will admit that I have accidentally gotten in a running shower still wearing my bra and underwear before, but the day I got out of the shower and dried off before I realized I had only shaved one of my legs has to be the perfect example of this problem. Even when you're in the shower shaving one leg, there's no guarantee you'll remember even to shave the other. We won't even talk about those times when you forget to shave your legs all together only to realize you need to wear a dress.

5. It makes a quick shower much less quick:
          Of course the best time to shave your legs is while the conditioner is in your hair, but the whole act of shaving adds at least a good five minutes to your whole shower. So, if you're in a hurry, this is a nuisance. In my opinion, taking a shower is the most important act when you're in a hurry, so brushing my teeth with curlers in my hair while I shave my legs in the sink (see plenty of date preparation montages in movies for this) isn't really going to happen. And also, that is an accident waiting to happen. I don't wear a life call, so if I were to actually have a date and I fell while simultaneously brushing my teeth and shaving my legs, I might perish there on the bathroom floor in a puddle of shaving cream and toothpaste spit. And possibly worse: the guy would think I stood him up. So clearly, I'd just need to wear pants if I were in a hurry for a date and forego the whole leg-shaving ordeal.

...And that's five. Maybe I should get electrolysis. But I heard that gives you leg pimples...that's a story for another time.

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