Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Working with Women



I will admit to having complained about working with all women on more than one occasion. But the other day, it struck me that there are a lot of times when working in an office full of women is really the best thing ever. And today, I thought I'd share a few examples of those times with you.


1. When You're having guy trouble: Girls know what to say when you're having guy trouble. Maybe I am a hideous beast, but every time I've ever told a desk neighbor about any guy problem I'm having she always says the right thing. Who cares if it's just a permutation of "you can do better," or, "He doesn't deserve you," or, "what a jerk," or "Ugh. Men." ? She knows it is clearly both not my fault and that the guy is clearly a jerk. It doesn't matter if I did spread honey along his baseboards and release some ants. He undoubtedly deserved it.

2. When you're thinking about trying out a new workout regime: In an office full of women, at least one woman there has tried the workout you're considering. It's statistically impossible you won't find all the information you need straight from the horse's mouth. Bonus: Unlike reading about a workout regime online, you can actually have a look at the woman who is practicing the particular routine in question. Does she look like you want to look? This way you can decide whether or not you want to do it at all. If she's recently grown an extra leg, my guess is you should stay away.


3. When you're having a fashion emergency: You hair got blown into what looks like cotton candy on the way to work? Someone has a brush. Run in your hose? Someone's got clear nail polish. Break a nail? Someone's definitely got an entire manicure kit, complete with cuticle pushers. Every woman keeps a secret supply of what she counts as beauty and fashion necessities in her desk. The trick is figuring out who has the best stock and cozying up to her in case of emergency.

4. When some other girl is being cray: Now, of course as a woman and a feminist, you hate to trash talk and hate on other women. Of course. But sometimes some strumpet is getting up in your business and you just want to rip out her weave. Instead of ripping out her weave, though, you have a whole office full of women with whom to discuss an analyze her (clearly) insane behavior. Have screen shots? Even better. Every one of your ladies will tell you the evidence of her insanity and just plain tackiness is undeniable.

5. When you need grooming tips: Thinking of getting a keratin treatment? Someone in your office has done that. Eyelash extensions? Check. Gel Manicure? At least half of your coworkers. And we won't get into the specifics of hair removal, but you can discuss that, too. Just make sure you've chosen your confidant wisely. I am absolutely sure you can find the entire spectrum of styles, options, and techniques among your coworkers, and at least 3/4 of them will be willing to discuss.

6. When you need restaurant suggestions: There is definitely a foodie at your workplace, but most girls know a good restaurant when they see one. In your office you'll find a wide range of neighborhood-specific experts as well as connoisseurs of a variety of cuisines. This, in fact, is such a safe conversation topic, you should just open the entire floor up for discussion when you're looking for a good place to go. But be ready to take notes.

7. When you need to be reassured about your outfit: Because every girl knows when you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Especially when it has to do with something the asker is already wearing and can't change. Telling her it's bad would just be cruel. If it's really awful, though, at least have a solution that can be executed immediately.

8. When you need someone to notice you: Just got a new dress? Thank goodness you work with all women! Not only will they notice that they like your dress, they'll also notice that it's new. And they'll say something. And that something will probably be that they like your new dress. And that's nice.

9. When there's an office birthday party: In every office in which I have worked, birthdays are celebrated with a pot luck, and everyone brings something. With a bunch of women around, there are always a few incredible and adventurous bakers. The best is when you've got two girls who are competitive with each other about the baking. In this competition, everyone wins.

10. When you cry at work: Ok, so you hope this never happens, but sometimes it does. If your boss isn't a total harpy, she'll know what to do, and your crying won't freak her out. She's cried plenty of times in her life, and she won't assume it's PMS.

Sometimes it's nice to work with both men and women, but there are a lot of benefits to being in an environment full of what my hypnotherapist calls "moon energy." And no, I don't mean energetic naked bums.