Top 10 Ways You Know It's Summer In New York

Here in New York, we're in what is being touted as the worst heat wave yet of the summer, and I, for one, have been absolutely wilting in the heat. People always ask me why I'm not more accustomed to the heat since I'm from the south, and my answer is always this: we have proper air conditioning down there. So, in honor of the heat wave, I've put together a list of ways you know for sure it's summer in New York.

1. You keep thinking it's raining, but then you realize you're just standing under someone's leaky air conditioner.

2. You're never hungry because the air is so thick outside you're fairly sure breathing is the same as eating a meal.

3. The feelings of guilt you'd been having about missing out on all the nice weather have left, and you're more than happy to spend your entire weekend indoors.

4. You almost look forward to going in to work on Monday because at least they have central air conditioning in there.

5. You've started sweating in places you didn't even know you could sweat, like the fronts of your knees and the backs of your hands.

6. You get excited when a bunch of traffic passes you on the street because it's at least generating a little bit of breeze.

7. You're starting to worry that the subway stations have been sinking further underground and that every time you're on the platform, you're getting closer and closer to the earth's molten core.

8. You can't even remember what winter felt like. But then, in the winter, you couldn't remember what summer was like, either.

9. You've stopped even caring whether or not you shaved your legs. You're going to wear a dress. Or shorts. Let everyone think you're a wooly mammoth. And anyway, what kind of wooly mammoth wears pants, anyway?

10. On the way home from work, you've started undressing before you even unlock the door to your apartment. And then when you get inside, you have to stand in front of the air conditioner in your underwear for ten minutes before you can even think again.

Yep. It's summer here. I hope you're all enjoying some real AC.

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