Friday, February 28, 2014

Breaking Bad: It is finished.

heisenberg, walter-white-breaking-bad, walter-white-heisenberg, heisenberg-breaking-bad, heisenberg-hat, heisenberg-poster
Last night I finished watching what I consider to be one of the best TV shows of all time. Yes, it's gritty and gory, and entirely inappropriate for anyone who doesn't like violence, but you have to admit there's something magnificent about a murderous, drug-cooking, drug-dealing crime drama. 

I'm going to refrain from saying anything too detailed about the final episodes of Breaking Bad because I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't gotten around to bingeing on Netflix. I will just say that they were absolutely insane. I thought the previous seasons were crazy, but this was a whole new level. Total insanity from Walter White. 

I'm sad the show is over, but there is some sort of good news: There's a spinoff in the works. Apparently, Better Call Saul is in set to debut this November and is a prequel to the series. Walter White is regrettably not a part of this story line, but his lawyer, Saul Goodman, is the title character. Here's hoping Saul's life of crime is just as crazy and awesome as Walter White's. Fingers crossed.

And to Jesse Pinkman, I shall miss you. You somehow became attractive during the run of this series, and I'm not even sure how.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Spinstering: Watercolors

Along with knitting, I feel like watercoloring has to be pretty high up on the list of thing I imagine spinsters of old doing. So, of course I have taken it upon myself to learn.

At FIT I took a class where we learned how to paint with watercolors, but I wasn't very good. Today's illustration, though, is a little bit of a hybrid of what i usually do, mixed with a little watercolor. I think there's definitely room for continued experimentation, but the good thing about being a spinster is that I have plenty of time to do that!

I'm watching the last episode of Breaking Bad tonight, so I expect tomorrow's post with be full of lamentations about how I wish there were more episodes. Why can I not just live in Downton Abbey world and somehow also watch Breaking Bad all day? Is that so much to ask? 

Also: Get excited. Tomorrow is Friday.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The Night Got Away

I have a confession. I don't have very many spinsterly things to say today because last night I was too busy spinstering to actually think about a blog post. I was even too lazy to actually scan today's illustration and opted instead to just take a (very poor quality) photo of it on my iPhone. Let today's post be a cautionary tale for how your spinstering can get out of hand in just a few easy steps. Here's how:

1. Come in the door and drop all your stuff - especially your pants.

2. Change into Leggings, and microwave your pre made dinner.

3. Turn on Netflix and realize they finally added the final episodes of Breaking Bad.

4. Find yourself completely unable to resist clicking on Breaking Bad while you eat your dinner much too quickly.

5. Having finished your dinner, continue on to the drawing/watching tv portion of your night, wherein you make a bunch of completely useless doodles you can decidedly not use for a blog post.

6. Hang out with your mom until 11pm, eating the delicious gluten free brownie pie she brought you. (It was too good to pass up.)

7. Decide you're too tired to take a shower, but stare blankly at your own face in the mirror for just as long as you would have taken a shower in the first place.

8. Put on your pajamas (because the leggings were just your segue lounging attire) and get into bed.

9. Type a play by play of your evening in lieu of a meaningful blog post.

10. schedule your post for the next morning and pass out in your bed, knowing your feet will be too hot to bear in about a half our.

Follow these ten easy steps, and you, too, can have an unproductive evening of spinstering. I'm going to need to re-watch those episodes of Breaking Bad for sure.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Man in My Life: Mr. Goodbar

The other day I was getting lunch at a deli across the street from my office, and I decided I needed a little something sweet. In the baskets by the register was an assortment of chocolates and various candies. I surveyed the baskets, and one wonderful yellow package seemed to call my name.

Ever since that afternoon, Mr. Goodbar and I have been having quite the romance. As you can see from today's image, we even got glamour shots together.

I know Mr. Goodbar isn't a fancy specialty chocolate. He's only from Hershey, but he's more than just the basic hershey bar. He's got a little crunch.

This weekend, I bought a multi pack of fun sized assorted hershey bars, and I ate all the Mr. Goodbars. Now I'm just left to spinster all alone with the regular hershey bars, the dark chocolate (who even likes that!?) and the crackle bars.

If you're a spinster like me, and you're looking for a spring love affair, try Mr. Goodbar. he is delicious.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Spinster Food: Crock Pot BBQ Chicken

i-love-bbq, barbecue, bbq, mmm, delicious
When you're a spinster, sometimes it is really hard to be motivated to cook dinner. With all the Netflix there is to watch and all the Tetris there is to play, who has time to cook dinner for one? Additionally, cooking for one can be kind of a drag. Either you cook a full meal, and you have to eat leftovers for a week, or you cook enough for one, and once you've eaten it, you're just plain tired.

For a long time I just ate freezer meals and pop tarts from paper towels. Pop Tarts aren't gluten free, though, and cooking for myself offers a bunch more variety.

A couple months ago, my mom helped me pick out a crock pot (or "slow cooker," if you're fancy), and with the help of crock pot liners, my kitchen and freezer are a whole new world.

Today I want to share one of the recipes I found online at Get Off Your Butt and Bake. Below, you'll find my take on the recipe with just a few adjustments.

What you'll need:

 5 to 6 chicken breasts (I like to use fresh, but if you use frozen, thaw them.)
1 (18 oz) Bottle Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce
2 Tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar
1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
1/2 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

What to do:

1. Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl, except the chicken.
2. Lay Chicken Breasts along the bottom of crock pot. (Use a liner. It will make your life so much better.)
3. Pour the mixture of sauce over the chicken, and take a spoon to make sure all the chicken breasts are fully coated.
4. Cook in the crock pot for 6 hours on low. At the sixth hour, shred the chicken with a fork and stir to get the sauce all over all the chicken. Leave in the pot on warm for a 30 minutes to an hour more.
5. (Special Spinster Instruction) Take out one serving for your dinner, and portion out the rest into separate servings and freeze so any time you need some barbecue chicken, you can just microwave it.


Sunday, February 23, 2014

Spinster Binge: Dance Academy

dance-academy, ballet-dancer, ballet, tara-from-dance-academy
The thing about binge watching TV shows is that when they're over, you don't have anything to watch. There's this incredible sense of loss when a show is done, and I find myself even missing the characters.

Recently I finished the show I was watching, and just in the nick of time, my friend Angela told me there were new episodes of Dance Academy on Netflix. Just like that, I'm back to binge-a-thons.

Now, let's take a moment to discuss five reasons why Dance Academy is excellent and binge worthy.

1. It's set in Australia which means there are accents. Of course we all love accents.

2. It's got drama, which is even better because it's high school drama.

3. The main character is cute and actually looks like a high school student.

4. The guys are pretty cute, even if they are supposed to be in high school. Especially Jordan Rodrigues. We are least in my imagination.

5. It's about a dance academy. I don't think I need to explain why this is awesome, but just in case, here it is: There's lots of dancing, and I love to watch dancing.

So, now that you know Dance Academy is excellent and on Netflix, you can put it in your queue for when the Olympics and Downton end. You're welcome.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Spinster Food: Sweet Carrots

One of the newest developments in my Atlanta Spinsterhood is cooking. Now that I have a kitchen that wasn't built for a doll, I can actually get some things made. However, what I want to discuss today could have been made in my miniature New York Apartment. Therefore, it's perfect for a spinster.

Today's Spinster Food is sweet carrots. With as much as I like carrots, you'd think I'd have better eyesight. Somehow, though, they've only left me with fairly long front teeth.

Now, onto the recipe.

What you'll need:
- 16 ounces baby carrots
- 2 tablespoons butter, melted
- 1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
- 1 cup water
- dash salt
 -pepper, to taste

What to do:

1. Mix all the ingredients but the carrots
2. In a medium saucepan, mix all the ingredients together
3. Heat uncovered until boiling
4. Reduce to medium heat and heat, stirring occasionally, for 25-30 minutes or until carrots are desired firmness.
5. Remove from heat and serve with a slotted spoon.
6. Enjoy alone or with a balanced meal. Results will be better in front of Netflix.

Happy Spinstering!

Friday, February 21, 2014

Spinster Love: Snap Judgment

I'm sure you all know by now how much I, like every other spinster my age, love Ira Glass. My Love for Ira and This American Life, though, has brought me to an unfortunate situation: I have listened to every episode of the This American Life podcast. Lucky for me, though, Ira had me covered.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to an episode of of This American Life, and Ira mentioned that one of the stories on the episode had originally aired on yet another NPR podcast called Snap Judgment. Hosted by Glynn Washington (illustrated for today's post), Snap Judgment is a delightful demonstration of storytelling - both fiction and nonfiction. I like to listen to it when I'm really getting in the zone at work. It helps me focus, and some of the stories are really very funny.

So, if you're a cranky old spinster like I am, who likes to do her cubicle work in peace, get out those earbuds and give Snap Judgment a try. I think you'll like it.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A Chunk Sitch Milestone (Pun Intended)

As the battle against the Chunk Sitch rages on, I feel I should take a moment to celebrate a milestone. Last night after work, I am proud to say I finished the first of three runs in the final week of Couch to 5k. While I used to be much more of a runner than I am today, I have to say I really am proud I'm finally making some progress toward the 10K I used to run three to four times a week. 

With all this running, you'd think the battle against the Chunk Sitch would have been won, but alas, it has not. Once I finish the C25K podcast, I'm going to start in on the 10K bridge, and this time, I won't have my wisdom teeth out. So hopefully I won't fall off the running wagon due to subway vomiting and face-down couch sleeping. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go eat all the dried mangos. Thank you.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Spinster Olympics

With all the discussion of U.S. Opening Ceremony Uniforms, I thought maybe I ought to discuss a sport that surprisingly has yet to be tried on the olympic stage: Spinstering.  Like Track and Field or snowboarding, there are many different events in which a spinster can compete in the spinsterhood arena. The events include but are not limited to:

1. Lounging
2. Watching Netflix (building a solid queue is part of this event)
3. Ordering takeout
4. Microwaving
5. Spinstergramming
6. Doing Laundry
7. Eating Chocolate
8. Napping
9. Imaginary face-punching
10. Fifth-wheeling.

Now that some of the events have been names, it's time to discuss the opening ceremony uniform for team spinster. You can see a quick illustration above. Firstly, the spinsters will wear their hair in some sort of bun or messy pony tail. Then, each spinster will wear her glasses, not her contact lenses. This makes impromptu napping much easier and less hazardous to a spinster's health. the base layer will consist of elastic-ankle sweatpants and an oversized tee shirt. These two items should not match. No shoes are required, and to top it all off is, of course, the signature spinster bathrobe.
pajama-illustration, watercolor-pajamas, watercolor-fashion-illustration, watercolor-loungewear

For the spinster triathlon (Lounging, Watching Netflix, and Ordering Takeout), the uniform will be something a little less eclectic. Because of the social nature of the Ordering Takeout portion of this event, wherein the spinster has to answer the door to an outside entity, the uniform for this is a little more coordinated. This ensemble includes a sleep dress with coordinating - if not matching - robe, two matching socks (socks much match each other but not necessarily the rest of the uniform), and a pair of underwear. Judges will deduct points for any hint of extra garments such as outdoor shoes or support garments.

Most other events - with the exclusion of Fifth-Wheeling, for which the spinster must ear street clothes - leave attire to the discretion of each individual spinster, stipulating only that she must, indeed wear clothing. For this reason, the Showering event has been excluded from competition.

Now that you know the games, dress code, and a few of the rules, I expect many a spinster will now start training for the day when our sport and art is finally recognized for the excellent display of skill and training it truly is.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Jumbling Tower

So, one of my Christmas Gifts this year was a new chair. The chair, however, didn't arrive at my apartment until the very last day of January. It's a sort of red-orange color, it's comfy, and it's big enough to curl up in, and of course I love it.

When my chair did arrive, I decided I needed to celebrate, so I invited a very few of my new Atlanta friends over for a tame night of Olympic-watching, game-playing, dinner-eating, and chair-sitting. After I'd sent the invitation, though, I realized I had no actual games to play, so I trotted myself over to Target, to buy a few things.

First of all, I would like to say that Balderdash was nowhere to be found at Target or on Amazon Prime. Did they stop making this game? After I realized my favorite vocabulary board game was unavailable (is this why I'm a spinster?), I moved on to Cranium and eventually Jenga. Apparently there are lots of kinds of Jenga now, but I just wanted the basic one. So, from the shelf I selected a version of Jenga in a metal tin the size of the regular wooden tower. It was the cheapest one anyway.

When I got home, I set about preparing for the little get together, and once everyone had arrived and had their picture made in the new chair, we moved on to some Olympics-watching and Jenga-playing. I took the tin from its place on my entertainment center, and upon inspection, I realized I had bought some sort of off-brand Jenga called "Jumbling Tower."

Now, you may be asking yourself why there would be a knockoff Jenga. Your guess is as good as mine. I will say this, though, the Jumbling Tower does not stack as neatly as Jenga. However, shouting "jumbling tower" whenever the tower does, in fact, fall into a jumble, adds a certain hilarity to your party.

The next time I saw my friend Bryan, he said that he thought he had Jenga at home that was sitting sad and unused in a drawer, and he'd be happy to give it to me. When he got home, though, I received a text saying that he, too, had mistakenly purchased Jumbling Tower.

So now that I have, days later, stopped laughing, I would like to know why in the world a knockoff Jenga exists. And why is it being sold at Target?

Monday, February 17, 2014

Spinster Addiction: Tetris

video-game-app, tetris-app, tetris-image, tetris-screen-shot, tetris-screen-shot
Growing up, we weren't really allowed to play video games. The first gaming console that entered our house was the Nintendo 64, and by then I was maybe in high school. It belonged to my brother, and we only had the James Bond game, which made me dizzy. That's why it surprises me that I have  a new obsession: Tetris.

The Tetris App is free, and once you get it on your phone, watch out. I know some people are addicted to Candy Crush, but I'm keepin' it old school with Tetris. However, they do now have a new feature: one touch Tetris, and this is my real obsession. It's fast, and I can get up to level 18 before the pileup starts resembling the one in my bedroom that's made of laundry. Eventually, though, the tension gets to me, and I lose. One day, though, I shall reach level twenty. Mark my words!

So, if you're a spinster like me, and you need a way to pass the time while you're waiting in line for your car to get fixed or...any other boring thing you get to do by yourself in the absence of a partner, try Tetris. It's the jam.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sunday Swintons

One of my favorite fashion commentary blogs is Go Fug Yourself. Their hilarious commentary makes celebrity and runway fashion even more hilarious and interesting than it already is. One of the Fug Girls' favorite celebrities, it would seem, is Tilda Swinton.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't usually spend much time thinking about the ol' Swintonator. Sure, she knocked it out of the park in Moonrise Kingdom, but I somehow haven't seen that much of her work. Well, either that, or she's such an amazing actress that she's in a lot of things where I didn't realize she was the actress playing her particular role.

Speaking of her changeability (we were speaking about that, right?) when I did last week's photoshoppery, I realized that Tilda Swinton looks like a great many different animals and is thus the perfect candidate for hybrids. So, dear friends, I present to you all the Tildas you will need today.

tilda-swinton-rabbit, tilda-swinton-animal, tilda-bunton
Tilda Bunton

tilda-swinton-bald-eagle, tilda-swinton-animal, tilda-swinton-bird
Balda Eagleton

tilda-swinton-animal, tilda-swinton-long-neck, ossicones, giraffe, human-giraffe
Tilda Giraffeton

tilda-swinton-animal, tilda-swinton-pale, tilda-swinton-face, tilda-swinton-skin
Hedgeda Hogton

tilda-swinton-lizard, tilda-swinton-animal, tilda-swinton-reptile, tilda-swinton-red-hair, tilda-swinton-face
Tilda Iguanaton

Ok, so my names weren't so great, but scroll back through and giggle anyway. She does morph really easily into pretty much any animal.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Spinstergramming: The West Coast is Photogenic

You may have been hearing about all the snow here in the southeast, and I must say I think I was out of town at the perfect time. Though I was on the west coast for work, I managed to get a few pictures here and there of how absolutely stunning the places I went were. The pictures won't really do them justice, but I thought I'd share some anyway.
The photo on the left above was taken on an early morning run, and the mist and fog on Santa Monica beach gave everything this sort of washed out pastel look I thought was really cool. There was some construction where I took this photo, though, so unfortunately we've got a crane.

The next I took on the last night my coworker and I were there when we decided we should go on the Pacific Wheel. The views obviously did not disappoint.

Top Left: Santa Monica Beach houses at sunset on the last day. 
Top Right: The sun going down on the last day.
Bottom Left: Sunset on Santa Monica Beach 
Bottom Right: My view one morning at breakfast.

Left: A very fat teddy bear we saw in Laguna Beach. 
Right: The morning I went running I ended up in Venice Beach, and I felt like I should take a picture of this. 

I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine's Day! I, for one, celebrated by eating a gluten free freezer pizza while watching Hulu. Ah, it's a Spinster's life for me!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

See You Soon!

Well, good morning to you all! There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just get right to it. I'm going out of town tomorrow, and I'll be working the whole time. If you've looked at today's graphic, you know what that means. For the next few days, I won't be able to post to The Spinsterhood Diaries.

I'll be back to posting this coming Friday, so get yourself ready!

Now, if you're in need of your spinsterhood fix while I'm working, check out last year's Valentine's Day series by clicking here.

I hope you've all made and sent your valentines! See you soon!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Nine Valentines from the Spinster

Yesterday marked one week until Valentine's Day. If you haven't sent out your valentines yet, today is the day!

Now, if you're a spinster like me, you may not think Valentine's Day is for you. But why should it just be for the couples? I think it's a great day to send cards to your friends and family, not just for awkward gift-giving between romantic pairings. Wouldn't you hate to have just started dating someone right now? Super uncomfortable.

But I digress. Today I wanted to help you out in case you haven't put together your Valentines yet. Below you'll find nine valentine designs (see what I did there? It rhymes!) that you can save to your computer and print out! Hooray!

These valentines are just supposed to be fun, so don't judge me too hard on my graphic design skills. I'm not all into fonts and all that business. Anyway, see below and enjoy!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Spinster Friday Jams: A Short February Playlist

lorde-drawing, lorde-playlist, lorde-sketch, lorde-portrait
Happy Friday! If you're anything like me, you're pretty pumped that today is the start of the Olympics. However, I'm going to hold off on the Olympic post until I've actually seen the opening ceremony. Instead, today I want to get your Friday started right with some of the songs I've been loving so far this month. They're not all brand new, but I think they're all pretty great. So, click on the playlist link below to listen at work or create a new playlist on your iPhone and listen while you get some exercise.

Click here to listen to the Spinster Friday Jams Playlist Blindly. But be forewarned...I couldn't find the radio edits on this website.

The playlist:

1. "Pompeii" - Bastille
2. "Step" - Vampire Weekend
3. "Buzzcut Season" - Lorde
4. "White Walls" - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
5. "Treasure" - Bruno Mars
6. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams
7. "Gypsy" - Lady Gaga


(side note: this drawing is supposed to be Lorde, but something went awry, and it's not super recognizable as her...)

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Celebrity Pugs

Today, dear Spinsters, I bring you a post of silly proportions. We all know I love kittens, but it is a lesser known fact that I also love a good old fashioned pug. They're so funny, and in the words of my friend Alex, they always seem to be in existential crisis. Below you'll find some celebrit-pug mashups I hope you enjoy.

1. Puggy Styles
What's cuter than a boy band? A puppy band! Imagine if all the guys in One Direction were puppies instead of boys. It would be more than any of us could bear. 

2. Puggy Cyrus
Half naked Miley is so 2013. Puggy Cyrus never wears clothes!

3. Kim Karpuggian and Pugye West
What a cute puppy couple. They're even all fashioned-up.

4. Pugnan Obrien
I bet they would have let him keep the Tonight Show if he looked like this.

5. Pugtin Bieber
He's turning into quite a bad little pug, but I still think he's cute.

6. Tilda Pugton
The ol' Swinton looks pretty good as a Puglet. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Yesss - Another Fashion Story is OVER

Hooray! Another Fashion Story is finished, and I couldn't be happier. With this post you'll see a gif that I think describes after having finished yet another marathon writing session. I hope you can see the exhaustion in my eyes. Somewhere around halfway through writing Another Fashion Story, I realized there was probably a reason NaNoWriMo is only once a year.

So, today's post is to wipe my brow and say "thank goodness that's done." The rest of the week will be much lighter fare, with some celebrity/animal mashups and potentially a playlist. Hold onto your hats, spinsters, I think it's going to be fun!