Sunday, March 9, 2014

Low Tech Spinster Tools

Today's post is for those of you just getting into the groove of spinsterhood. There are many high tech gadgets you'll be needing (like Netflix and a Laptop), but today we need to talk about some of the things you'll need that don't require any power but your own fabulous womanhood. Behold, below is the list.

1. Metal Nail File:
          Some girls like the cute patterned emory boards, but I prefer the metal. It seems more substantial, and it's got that sharper tip at the end which is nice for cleaning out from under the nails. I feel like the metal nail file also has a nice vintage feel, so you can imagine yourself as a spinster of yore while you file your nails in front of the TV.

2. Little Metal Pencil Sharpener:
          Now, some spinsters may be mechanical pencil ladies, but if you're going to be using colored pencils or just good ol' No. 2 Pencils in your spinsterhood, I suggest you invest the seventy-five cents for one of these babies. I find they're the best and the most effective. Now, If you're going to do a lot of sharpening, I suggest you keep your little metal pencil sharpener in a zip loc bag along with the shavings. People may think it's potpourri, but it saves trips to the trash can. Because let's be honest, you can't miss a second of Downton, and there aren't commercials, so you have to stay still.

3. The Comedone Extractor:
          Even Tina Fey admitted to enjoying cleaning her pores in Bossy Pants, so there's no need you don't spend at least a little time every day standing much too close to your bathroom mirror. I find the Comedone Extractor is also helpful for those pesky back blemishes. If you're a runner, you know what I'm talking about. The bonus with the Comedone Extractor is that you really feel like it's a medical tool. It feels very scientific and professional in hand.

4. Uni-ball Vision Micro Pen:
          Please note that I am also partial to the Pilot Extra Fine Pen, but they are not as easy to find these days, for whatever reason. I like these pens especially for journaling. They do tend to smudge, though, so if you're doing some very serious and spinsterly journaling that may include a few tears, use a fine tipped sharpie, or keep a kleenex on hand.

5. Tea Infuser:
          When I was in London over the summer, I bought my first bag of loose leaf tea at Borough Market. For months, I kept meaning to find a tea infuser so I could actually drink the tea, and a few weeks ago, I finally did. You can officially consider me obsessed. Not only do I think this particular model functions quite well, but drinking loose leaf tea makes me feel extra fancy and extra spinsterly at work.

Once you purchase these five tools, you'll be well on your way to a very solid spinsterhood indeed. I know I am.
         

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