Saturday, March 15, 2014

Running like a Spinster

fashion-illustration, running-outfit, running-outfit-illustration, activewear-fashion-illustration
When you're a spinster on a scandalously beautiful Friday Night, you may find yourself stricken with a certain quandary. That is, if you haven't made plans, you'll want to do more than just watch Netflix. I can't tell you what you should do, but I can tell you what I did do. Hopefully next time you find yourself in this situation, you'll be inspired by my own friday night spinstering. 

So Here's a detailed plan of what to do:

Part 1: Go Running
- What to Wear: (see diagram)
          1. Hoodie (I wore a tanktop underneath): I bought this particular sweatshirt because I was stuck in California and ran out of clothes. As it turns out, it is pretty much the softest, most comfortable sweatshirt I have ever owned. (If you need to spinster in a similar one, check out Aviator Nation)

          2. Neon Yellow Reflective Vest with Zipper Pocket: While this is potentially one of the most embarrassing things I own, I feel much safer when I wear it. After all, I'd rather be embarrassed than hit by a car. 

          3. Arm Band for my Phone: You may find yourself wondering why I have both the pocketed vest and the armband. The answer is this: When I tried running with my phone in the vest, it was really bouncy. Plus, I like to look as dorky as possible when I'm spinster running.

          4. Activewear Capris from Target: I found them on the sale rack, and I quite like them. 

          5. Aerie Running Socks: You can never have enough of those cushion-bottom running socks. They're just better. Unfortunately Aerie socks appear to be in-store only.

6. Brooks Running Shoes with Gore Tex: I bought my shoes years ago after my old ones got water logged when I got caught in a downpour. So of course I bought the hideous gore tex ones. They're so ugly, but alas, my feet look like they belong to a witch, and these were the best fit. The better to spinster in.

7. Glittery Teal Glasses: These are amazing and missing almost all of the rhinestones on the temples. I go these glasses when I had mono in college and couldn't keep contacts in. 

- Listen to: Carly Rae Jepsen Kiss (Deluxe)

Part II: Run Away:
- Run away from your apartment until you're not really sure where you are, then walk for an hour and a half to get home.

Part III: Stop at Steak and Shake:
- Stop at Steak and Shake to put back all those calories you just burned. Get the Peanut Butter shake. It's relish. While you wait for it, talk to the cashier about working out. Show her some of your best moves.
- When you get your milkshake, wave extravagantly to the cashier and her friend, and turn to leave.
- Find yourself inches away from the face of a little old man and apologize profusely. 
- Laugh when the old man says he's just glad he didn't have to pay for the floor show.

Part IV: Walk home and take a shower, deciding to count that milkshake as your dinner.

Part V: Write about this, and then go to sleep.

With these five easy steps, I hope you can get a good idea of how to spend a splendid evening without a date. At the very least, you can wear that outfit. It's pretty comfy. However, if you decide to stay in, I don't think you'll be needing the reflective vest, arm band, or gore tex....unless you're just into that.

1 comment:

  1. i laughed so hard. you're the best.

    ReplyDelete