Monday, June 30, 2014

Monday Fun: Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

First thing first, today's drawing is wildly creepy, but I guess that's what happens when western girls try to be Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. My face is not nearly as cute as hers when adorned with those bangs and pigtails.

Now that that's over, let's talk about the fun stuff! A few years ago, a friend that I met while taking a class at UCB sent me an email with Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's video "Candy Candy," and I'll be honest, I did not know what to make of it. And then I sort of forgot about it. Then, about a week ago, I was watching some Kids React videos, and I happened upon "Kids React to 'Pon Pon Pon.'" I have to say, their little captions and commentary got me curious. So, I navigated on over to the "Pon Pon Pon" video and watched it and, of course, I felt like I was on some Beatles-era drugs.

If you haven't been clicking on the links throughout this entry so far, I think I can best describe Kyary Pamyu Pamyu as a sort of cutesy Japanese cross between Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. She's all about a crazy costume, as she got her start as a fashion blogger of Harijuku and is, as Gwen Stefani has taught me (at minute 3:40), "super Kawaii." I must say, I am really jealous that she made it from a high school fashion blogger to making her own crazy Gaga/Perry videos. Someone...can we please make this happen for the spinster? I don't really need that many costumes. Just some fancy bathrobes and sweatpants.

So, I'm just warning you. I know I've done some ASMR videos, but the next thing may have to be a music video...just prepare yourself. It won't be tomorrow, though, so don't gird your loins just yet.

And now, friends, so you don't have to click on any links, I leave you with my favorite from Kyary Pamyu Pamyu: "Fashion Monster." Enjoy!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Spinstering at El Torero

K, so, if there's one thing in my life that's very important right now, it's queso. Yes, that pun was very much in tended. You might even say it was calculated. However, the meaning is still important. Queso dip is a big part of my life right now.

I texted Megan earlier this week to see about hanging out, and her response was this: "Can we QUESO!?" Of course we could queso. She also asked if I was free on saturday night, as if she didn't know that unless I'm hanging out with her, I'm always free on Saturday night. I write a spinsterhood blog after all.

As a side note, if you aren't following Megan on Twitter, you must find her and follow here: @MsMeganMitchell. You are welcome. Her thoughts and commentary on the world around her - especially swimwear - send me reeling with laughter on a regular basis.

Now, the queso. For a long time I wasn't a queso person, mostly on the grounds that "queso," in spanish actually just means "cheese," and I felt like everyone was saying "queso" as a more specific word than it actually is. I was in grammatical revolt, I tell you! Well, then I ate it one night when I was with my sister, and I wouldn't have cared if they called it "todos los quesos del mundo." It was excellent.

And now, my friends, El Torero has become one of my spinster hang spots, mostly because it is literally around the corner from my apartment. But also because they have excellent queso, they're cheap, and I saw a very attractive skinny Zach Galifianakis lookalike there last night. We're married now. Well, ok, maybe not, but I think he heard me trying to describe Kyary Pamyu Pamyu to Megan by singing "Candy Candy." Guys like that, right? Don't worry. We'll talk more about it tomorrow.

Other highlights included Megan's teaching me how to say "You're a Beefcake" and "I'm sorry I'm a fat American" in French. You know, in case I ever do make it to Paris.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Illustration Friday: Beard

Many of you already know about Illustration Friday, but just in case you don't, I'll tell you. Illustration friday is a website where, once a week (on friday) they post a new theme. Anyone who wants to participate can, as long their illustration is on theme. You just click "submit your illustration!," and link to your image, and that's it!

So, from time to time I like to add a little something to Illustration friday. Sometimes I use an image from this blog that I've already done that just happens to fit the topic, but sometimes I like to make something new.

This week's theme is "Beard," and since I'd already used one of my facial hair ideas for the "mustache" week, I decided to do a couple of beard-growing gifs as well as one with the alternate meaning of beard, though I'm not sure it's meaning is so obvious.

The woman's the beard in this situation. You know, in the Kelly Preston or Katie Holmes sense. 

And then I did another, more graphic one...

Now that I'm looking it, it kind of looks like a baby growing a beard. 

Have a happy saturday and don't forget to grow a beard...bonus points if it's on your legs.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Tees for the Spinster Who Wants to Eat it All

Um, listen. By now I don't need to remind you I love some snacks. In case you needed a visual, though, I made this middle school-style doodle of my jaw unhinging like a snake's so that I might eat everything. My friend Leah likes to say she's feeding herself like a fatted calf, and so I have of course adopted that phrase into my own vocabulary. She is the author of many such excellent sayings, and I suppose that is why she is a writer by profession.

I was talking to Leah about my constant need for snacks the other day, in fact, when she was saying that she whole-heartedly agreed and sympathized. Then she said she wanted a shirt that said "Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!" instead of "Shots! Shots! Shots!" like the LMFAO/Lil' John song. Of course I thought this was an excellent idea and set about putting it into work.

Before I go any further, I have to tell you that one of my fondest memories of Leah is when, in freshman year of college, we decided to go to Sonic and get five for five after five (that's five between the two of us, not five each) and see if we could eat all five. Truth be told, we could not. I think we both got about a burger and a half in and had to stop.

Ok, now let's continue.

As you can see above I've created three different tees. We shall discuss in the points below.

- "Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!" - This is the tee I made in collaboration with Leah. Her request was that the font be in keeping with the rap theme. I chose a graffiti font, and I think it turned out nicely. Pictured here, it's on the Men's American Apparel Heather Grey Tee, but you can change the body and color to your liking, should you find yourself in need of a snacks tee.

- "I want to Eat Everything" - This one is just my personal mantra. My thinking in creating this particular tee was that if you let everyone know you want to eat everything, then there may actually be random snacks in it for you. If you're in high school or college or habitually hang out with drunk people, you may want to skip this tee, though, as it may encourage rude jokes. If you're an adult and you hang out with clever adults, though (eh hem), then this might be the tee for you.

- "I Heart Snacks" - This tee is simple and to the point. Again, this will probably encourage the random offering of snacks, and if you're a snacker and a spinster, it may also help you avoid those awkward party questions. "Oh, you're single?" "Yes, I'm single. I'm in love with snacks."

So, if you find yourself in deep need of the perfect tee in which to procure and eat snacks, I humbly suggest you consider one of these three. Click the links in their titles above or check them out at the Zazzle Spinster Store.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Spinster Shopping: Some Curvy Cuteness

plus-size-fashion-illustration, plus-sized-model-illustration, plus-size-croqui
Well, hello. Today's post has been requested many times, but not until I started using Boxagon did I think it was going to be a feasible entry. Making shopping posts about actual clothing can be difficult because more often than not, the actual clothes are shown on the model, and that's hard to cut out and place nicely without it looking like awkward paper dolls. And if we're going to do paper dolls, then they should be nice and neat. Now I feel like I should have made paper dolls for this post. Sigh. Another time.

In the past few years we've seen some really excellent plus sized ladies come to the forefront. Most notable in my mind are the likes of Adele, Queen Latifah, Christina Hendricks, Rebel Wilson, Melissa McCarthy, and Oprah, for crying out loud. These ladies manage to really get things done in the fashion department and also in the beauty, hair, and jewelry departments to boot. Adele's eye liner? If only I could achieve that in my own mirror.  All this is to say, I think we all know you don't need to be a twig to be looking pretty excellent. (And pretty and excellent.)

Now clearly I'm not the only one with fashionable picks for the luscious ladies. Marie Claire has their own column now, called "Big Girl in a Skinny World," and the blog GarnerStyle has a tagline that calls it "The Curvy Girl Guide." The Curvy Fashionista has also complied a pretty extensive list of plus sized fashion bloggers for your convenience!

My contribution to this listing, though, will be much smaller. I just did a little online shopping and found some dresses I thought were really nice for summer. Some of my pics are just great basics you could wear anywhere, but some are pretty feisty and will make all your friends (and/or coworkers) super jealous. So...check out my Boxagon by clicking on it below!

Curvy Cuties by Sarah Jones on Boxagon.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Spinster Confession: I Ate The Gluten

Gluten, What-is-gluten, I-ate-gluten, gluten-free-fat, jabba-the-hutt
I think we all know I like to eat. I like to eat all the food, but since I stopped eating gluten, I've felt much better sitting at my desk at work. My pants aren't magically and immediately two sizes too small after lunch, and I can sit in my desk chair without unbuttoning my pants. But this weekend...this weekend was another story, and this has to stop!

So now, I must confess every delicious thing I have eaten until today that has led to my wearing elastic-waist pants and skirts until I no longer look and feel like Jabba the Hutt. You guys, this is serious.

My friend Angela was in town this weekend, and we went to Mary Mac's Tea Room with our friend Teresa. Firstly, let me say that I can't recommend this place highly enough. It was perfect in every way. Our waitress had a really local accent, and the place reminded me of a place that used to exist in Sumter, SC called Cole's, but maybe a little fancier. While we filled out our order cards, there was a basket of assorted breads including corn bread/muffins, biscuits, and home made cinnamon rolls. I don't suppose I need to tell you I had one of each. And with my meal, I had fried chicken.

Saturday night we went to a place called Ormsby's where I am ashamed to say I had fried fish tacos as well as a little fat slice of a corn dog.  There was a sign above the juke box at Ormsby's that said that any Journey or Def Leppard played would be skipped and the money kept. I like their style.

Sunday afternoon I succumbed to my baser instincts and actually (cringe) went through the McDonalds' drive through. Judge me if you will, but the girl who gave me that incredible greasy bag called me "gorgeous," and she said my hair looked great. So...I'm still not sure this was a bad decision.

Sunday night I ate S'more's pop tarts for dinner. And then I ate them for breakfast again the next morning and then I ate them for dinner again. I'm a spinster. What were you expecting?

Last night, though, was the last straw. I must be stopped. No more stress-gluten-eating or gluten-feelings-eating. I was sure I would be getting a call from Disney to be a Jabba Impersonator now that they own Star Wars and Lucasfilm. Alas, my gluten binge was not quite so lucrative. Instead, I ate fried chicken and stuffing while I sat in a booth with a cracked vinyl seat and talked to my friend Katherine on the phone about the Stroller Warriors. No, dear. I'm not joining. I don't even know where I'd get a stroller, much less a baby. Well, maybe amazon...for the stroller...and also maybe the baby. I think they sell everything.

Anyway, after I all but rolled home, I decided glutenbinge 2014 should now be drawing to a close. That's great because, of course, I ate the last two pop tarts yesterday morning.

So, spinsters, I stand before you, hanging my head in shame. I was weak, spinsters. I ate something I knew my body didn't like, and it rewarded me by making me a Jabba impersonator whose phone just won't ring. Well, that is, except for when Katherine calls. It did ring then.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Fun with Photo Booth

At my last job in New York, the graphic designer would sometimes send me hilarious things in my email. The one I want to talk about today actually made me cry with laughter. Like, I couldn't stop laughing and crying at the same time, and people kept coming over to ask me if I was OK. For those of you who may not know what's going on in this video, the girl is actually using one of the filters from the Mac OS program called Photo Booth, and like most of us, she is enjoying herself immensely.

Since the graphic designer shared this video with me, I've sent the video to several people with varying results. I have to say, though, anything short of uncontrollable laugh-crying is baffling to me. Here, take a moment to watch the video. I hope you a good way.

Well, I love this video so much that of course I had to make one of my own. While I will admit that my video comes nowhere close to the hilarity of the original, I thought it'd be fun to share anyway. So...see below the video, and I hope you get a good giggle. I would love it even more if you made your own twirl face video and shared it!

Monday, June 23, 2014

Spinster Screening: Jersey Boys

First of all let me say that I am thoroughly ashamed that I lived in New York for almost six years and never actually saw Jersey Boys on Broadway. I admit I was terrible at making it to Times Square when I lived in New York, but what actual resident wants to go there? The answer is 'none.'

This weekend I saw Jersey Boys the  movie, and now I'm writing this post while holding hands with all four of the Four Seasons. I know, that's impossible. Actually two are holding my hands, and two had to settle for feet. Oh, and all four actually had to settle for being in my imagination. But I love them all.

Ok, now to the part that actually takes place in reality: I loved this movie. Not having seen the actual stage play I didn't realize that there would be a lot of speaking to the camera, but knowing the story was originally written for the stage, it didn't weird me out as much as I would have thought. The music was, of course, great. I wanted to dance pretty much every time they started singing.

Now for a few random notes and tidbits on the movie that shouldn't be considered spoilers:

1. In one scene, the waitresses at the bar/restaurant are all wearing the dress I wore to my friend Virginia's Wedding.

2. I kind of wished that Frankie Valli's wife had more of a Jersey accent.

3. One of the most common movie posters for this movie features the four seasons singing under a street lamp. Supposedly this is at the beginning of their story, but it's not actually featured in the beginning of the movie.

4. The best and most hilarious scene involves one of the Four Seasons talking about how he hates begin roommates with one of the others, and it was amazing. I feel that guy's pain.

5. The aging makeup they used at the end of the movie may have been the best I've seen thus far. Bear  in mind, however, I never actually saw Benjamin Button.

All in all, I'm going to give this movie two thumbs up. I loved it, and I think I'd still jump at the chance to see Jersey Boys onstage.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Audible Spinstering: Gone Girl (spoiler alert!)

gillian-flynn-face, gillian-flynn-author, gillian-flynn-portrait
After I finished listening to This Dark Road to Mercy, the next item on my Audible wish list was Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl. For one thing, there's a movie coming out in october with a cast that includes Ben Affleck. For another, I was starting to feel like everyone I know had already read it. For yet another, I had drawn this kind of weird-looking graphic portrait of Gillian Flynn, and I needed to use it for something. Ok, that last one isn't true. But I acknowledge that this graphic portrait isn't my best work. Sorry, Gillian.

Now, before you read on, I must warn you that there are spoilers below. So, if you're planning on reading or listening to this book, you may have to skip today's post. Now, you've been warned.

So, this book was a really interesting one. Reflecting on the story structure, I'd like to break it into three parts. These parts, for me, hinge entirely on my feelings toward Amy, the story's protagonist...if you can call her a protagonist in the sense that you're rooting for her.

Part one is the part in which you don't really like Amy very much and are thinking "oh, puh-lease" to about every thing she says. During this portion, she embodies the kind of girl you really hate because she talks about her relationship ALL THE TIME. In short, Amy from part one should head on over to #MyFriendsAreMarried. She is far too self-satisfied.

Part two is the part where you're like "heck yes, Amy! You fake your own death! Stick it to the man! Serves him right!" When this part of Amy's character was revealed I was really excited. I was hoping this would be a Thelma and Louise sort of thing but without the whole driving off a cliff thing. But then...part two started to gradually bleed into part three, and I felt my heart sink while I realized I'd been rooting for a total psycho.

Yes, part three is where you go from loving Amy for sticking it to a cheating husband by framing him for her disappearance to realizing she's a total psychopath who frames people for things practically as a part of her daily existence. I think Flynn probably did this to make the story and characters more complex, and I guess she succeeded, but I just...I wish it had all ended differently. And I hated that I actually ended up rooting for the cheating husband. Like, how did that even happen?

Now, let's talk about the vocal performances. I'd like to say that when I first started listening to the audio book, I thought both the male and female readers were annoying. They both sounded smug, and I didn't like either of them. However, as the story progressed, I understood why they may have been directed to read in this particular fashion. I think the whole point was to make sure that neither of the main characters was actually likable. Well, done, Audible! You achieved your goal.

For as intensely as I disliked both Nick and Amy, I have to admit that I think this was a good book. I guess having any sort of intense feelings about the characters of a book is the marker of a good read. Well, in this case, it's the sign of a good listen.

So, if you made it this far and for some reason still feel the need to read or listen to the book even though I've pretty much ruined the whole thing for you, I say this: read at your own risk. You probably won't like Nick or Amy or how the book ends. But I also say that  I'm going to see the movie for sure. But I think we all know it takes exactly 0 enticement for me to go to the movies.

Again, to Gillian Flynn, if you're seeing this, I'm sorry about the portrait. I'm not sure what went wrong.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Spinster Love: Peanut Butter M&Ms

The other day I was listening to Morning Edition on the way to work, and David Kestenbaum was talking about buying M&Ms. In my not-so-humble opinion, I don't understand why anyone ever buys the plain M&Ms except to use in recipes for, say, pizza cookies. There are so many more options, one of which Kestenbaum was discussing. That is, the delicious peanut butter M&M. As it turns out, there are fewer peanut butter M&Ms in the single-serving sized bags than there are in the plain M&Ms pouches of the same time. But I'll let you listen to Kestenbaum tell it. He does it much better.

However, after I heard such a detailed discussion of Peanut Butter M&Ms, I knew I would soon buy my own bag. But let's be real, I wasn't going to buy a little. It's the large bag for this spinster. I am not playing around with this chocolate business.

I'm here to tell you that I think the Peanut Butter M&Ms purchase may just have been the best choice I made all week. By far. Compared to that purchase, everything else I've done seems deeply questionable.

If you have, like I had, let the thought of peanut butter M&Ms slip to the back of your mind, I suggest you go get yourself a bag. In fact, why don't you go all out? Get a tube of cookie dough, a pizza pan, and some peanut butter M&Ms and make yourself a pizza cookie today. Ain't no shame, girl. It's Saturday and you do what you want!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Some Photoshop Images

So recently I was working in photoshop and I accidentally discovered a brush I'd never used before. Since it's brand new to me, of course it's hard to use. but the brush has this pressure-sensitive quality that makes it darker and lighter depending on how hard I press with my stylus. Since I'm not very good at using it yet, though, I have been obsessed with playing around with this new-to-me brush.

Today I just thought I'd share a few of the quick images I've made while messing around with the new brush. Once I played around a little, I started thinking about the kinds of things I usually end up pinning to my "Inspiration/Mood Board Images" board on Pinterest. A lot of times I just pin things to this board because I like their colors. So, that's what today's images are, really. They're just colors, but I kind of like some of them.

So, Enjoy! Perhaps all these images are overkill, but I usually only look at the pictures in blogs anyway. (guilty).

Now that I've shown you all of these images, I have to ask: Am I the only one who loves the song in this commercial? I find it really charming, somehow. Ok, Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Lemonade Stand

Last weekend I made a trip to Target. Actually, I'm not ashamed to say I made more than one trip to target, but we're only talking about one of those trips right now. Anyway, on one of the end caps in the seasonal section, they had everything a kid could want to make the perfect lemonade stand. I thought it was so cute I might buy it all for myself. Then, I thought....wouldn't that be kind of weird? An adult with a lemonade stand is perhaps a little out of bounds. The whole thing about lemonade stands is that it's run by cute kids who are getting their first taste of commerce. Otherwise, you just need a license to be selling things on the side of the street.

Once I decided I couldn't have my own lemonade stand, I began to merely hope that I could run across one so that I could purchase a glass of lemonade and bask in the memories of the ones I had with my sister. So, in case anyone in my neighborhood is planning on having a lemonade stand this weekend, I have put together a little box from a new site called Boxagon to help you get everything you might need for your very own stand. It's extra cool because once you click the box, you can hover over each item and see how much it costs and where to get it!
Lemonade Stand! by Sarah Jones on Boxagon.

Make sure you have a good sign, and I'll be there, pronto....especially if those lemonade cupcakes are made Gluten Free. Anyway, click on the box, and see what wonders await!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Atlanta Spinstering: Makeup Counters

There are a great many things I miss about New York, one of which is not the lack of apartments with central air conditioning. When I lived in New York, though, one of my very favorite things to do was casually walking through any department store's makeup department and accepting offers to have "a little touchup." Here in Atlanta, though, that is not a thing.

On any given Saturday in New York, I could wander into Henri Bendel and have more than one makeup artist offer to show me their wares by applying them to my face. Bendel's was the best place to do this, but a walk through Lord and Taylor, Macy's, or Bloomingdales would often produce the same result. I suspect this was their way to sell more product - both by advertising to passers by and also by direct contact with me, a potential client. And, well, it always worked on me. It takes little to nothing to convince me to buy a new lipstick or eyeshadow or what have you. I relish a good makeover, and I am willing to pay.

When I first moved here, I tried walking through several of the department store makeup  sections to no avail. Now, I work next door to Phipps Plaza, the fancy mall with the Nordstrom and Saks, and I routinely make visits to their cosmetics departments on my lunch break or after work. At first I thought it was just a bad hair day or that I was going at the wrong time of day, but I feel like I've gone at enough different times and in different states of dishevlement that I have a decent sample size to draw a conclusion. And my conclusion is this: Makeup salespeople in Atlanta do not care. Not only will they not offer to do your makeup, but they will wait until you ask for help before they acknowledge your presence.

You guys, this is sad. I really miss my ASMR makeup time. Am I to only get it from youtube? I know, I could make an appointment to have my makeup, I guess, but that sort of defeats the spontaneous point. I want to walk in and be beckoned. I want to be sold something. I don't want to go in there already knowing what I want. Sell it to me.

Anyway, I think I need to stop now. BUT if you are an Atlanta makeup artist, and you are reading this, please make the makeup departments of Atlanta more fun. Otherwise I suppose we'll all have to start watching more YouTube. 

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Spinster Love: Naked Juice

If you've been reading The Spinsterhood Diaries for very long, then you know how much I like juice. Most of the time I like a good White Grape Juice. When I get fancy, I like a nice sparkling juice. However, today we're talking about something that I think may lean into the milkshake category and is somehow still a juice. That is to say, I want to talk about Naked Juice

Just by its  name, Naked Juice makes me think it's healthy. I guess that's why I didn't really try it until recently. I thought maybe it was going to be sort of gross-tasting or that all the pulp would sink to the bottom. However, I got a Mighty Mango, and to say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. This stuff is excellent. Technically, the Mighty Mango is categorized as a smoothie, and I don't disagree. It's thick and delicious, thus my milkshake reference. 

At 150 calories, the count is a little steep, but this juice/smoothie is a slow drinker. I don't think you could gulp it down. Plus, you feel better knowing you're having a little fruit, too. And, if fruit isn't your thing, and you're feeling the need for some veggies, they have that, too! Full disclosure, though, I've been so in love with the fruit juice, I haven't ventured into the vegetable territory yet. 

Anyway, I am so obsessed with the deliciosity of this drink right now I had to share. I know, I know. It's not new to the market or anything, but it is somehow new to me, and I am not mad at it. In fact, we're on quite good terms. 

So, if you're in the mood for some juice, click here, and you can get a $1 off coupon, too!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Monday Shopping: New Stuff from The Spinster Store on Etsy

Yes, yes. I'm promoting my own Etsy store today, but if I didn't use my own blog for it every now and then, I mean...I suppose I'd be missing an opportunity. Right? Right. Well, at least I think so.

In the past week or so I've spent a little time adding a few new things like the animals pictured here, some new Bangles,  and a Fashion Illustration that might look a little familiar to you. I must admit that adding things to the store is starting to be a little bit addictive. So...I may need to reign it in a little pretty soon here. For now, though, my life outside of work is a crafting bonanza! Hooray!

So, if you're not quite ready to start working this monday morning, feel free to check out The Spinster Store on Etsy! If you don't want to do that, I think maybe coffee is your second best option. Honestly, though, you could do look at The Spinster Store while you drink your coffee. Ok...I promise tomorrow will not be about my Etsy store. So...Happy Monday!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Atlanta Spinstering: The Beehive

On one of my first days at my job here in Atlanta, I noticed that the head of the Art department was wearing a really cool necklace. When I asked about it, she said she'd gotten it at a place called The Beehive and that I should really check it out. Well, it took me nearly ten months, but I got there, and I'm so glad I went.

I'd been to the shopping center where The Beehive is located quite a few times, and I never actually even saw it was there. The center is a rather large one with a Bed Bath and Beyone, Target, Lowes, Kroger, Barnes and Nobles, and a bunch of other things, but somehow I'd never seen this particular store.

The best way I can think of to describe The Beehive is to say it's something like a live collective of etsy shops. There are little sections (not quite booths) for each seller, and the products range from children's wear to pottery to jewelry to jams. According to the man I spoke to, the artists and crafts people are 98% local, so that's really cool. I love to see local artists and crafters being supported.

Now, I know you're wondering if the stuff in there is actually any good. We've all seen those stores with a collection of artists' goods that somehow end up being more of those weird crochet-skirted dolls than anything else. This place, however, has some really nice things. You'll see pictured on the left a fun dress which unfortunately was not my size. And they also had a bunch of little girls' dresses which were definitely not my size. There were some really cute men's ties and bow ties, a bunch of cute jewelry, some letterpress paper goods, and some ceramics.

When I went around to try on that dress (I am ashamed to say it was much too tight in the hips and somehow gaping at the bust...because of my body, and not the designer's specs...ah, the chunk, switch), I saw there was a little area with bins of craft materials, some sewing machines, and the link. And after a little discussion, I discovered they also have classes at The Beehive! Not only this, but they also do birthday parties for both kids and adults. And somebody's got a birthday coming up. I'm just saying.

So, anyway, you can see my little thumbnail photos a little better if you click on the image and open it in a new tab. However, the website has a bunch more cool stuff, so click the link.

If you live in the Atlanta area and haven't been to The Beehive, I suggest you head on over and check it out. It's  a pretty fun place. And they didn't even get mad at me for taking photos!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Spinster Shopping: Cat Lady In Training

I was going to call today's shopping collage "Spinster in Training," but I suppose no one wants to think about their caught as a spinster-to-be. Well, maybe some dads do. I have no idea. I don't have any kids.

I may not have my own kids, but I do have a little niece who is cute enough to eat, and she does love her some kittens. So, of course, I like to think of her as a cat lady in training. And today I've got quite a collection of kitty-themed sundries for the little cuteness in your life. I'm sure you have to know at least one child, right?

1. Skip Hop Zoo Backpack - Cat: $20,

2. Two Kitties Tee: $7.99, Carter's

3. Kitty Umbrella: $14.99, Macy's

4. Kitty Kat Straw Bowler Hat: $23, Monsoon

5. Mini Melissa Cat Mary Jane Flats: $50, Saks Fifth Avenue

6. Kitten Hair Clips: $3.95,  H&M

7. No Added Sugar Cat Graphic T-Shirt: $67, Barney's

8. Circo Cat Hooded Towel: $15.49, Target

9. Kitty Print Rain Jacket: $35, Carter's

10. Glitter Cat Sandals: $33, Monsoon

11. Fat Cat Temporary Tattoo: $2.50, Chloe C Wilson on Etsy

So, there you have it. Now you can dress up your favorite little girl like the cat lady you hope she becomes. Now if only you can teach her how to pet the cats gently so they don't run away from her every time. Good luck. I still haven't learned.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Audible Spinstering: This Dark Road to Mercy

author-wiley-cash, wiley-cash-face, wiley-cash-author, wiley-cash-beard, wiley-cash-portrait
This week I took a break from the drudgery of listening to James Joyce's Ulysses (yes, I'm aware that calling this drudgery may reveal me as unintelligent, but I have no idea what's happening in that book) and treated myself to Wiley Cash's most recent publication, This Dark Road to Mercy. I'm ashamed of this for two reasons. Firstly because I didn't actually read this book in print, and secondly because I should have preordered the book and received it immediately when it was available. However, I'm going to overlook that and just go ahead and tell you about it. Don't worry. There will be no spoilers.

Before I proceed, I have to say that I had the great pleasure of actually meeting Wiley Cash at my friend Meredith's Wedding about a year ago, and he was incredibly gracious. He could have hidden himself from we adoring fans who had all read A Land More Kind Than Home and wanted to back in his glory, but I tell you he was so kind. Now, let's proceed.

This Dark Road to Mercy was a great listen for a lot of reasons. Firstly, it was just under eight hours long, so I consumed it in just a couple of work days (I have to go to meetings sometimes...). This is a lot more than I can say for Ulysses. Secondly, the book features characters who are all from North Carolina, and this happens to be the first/only audio book I have experienced thus far that has even remotely authentic southern accents and intonations. I almost suspect Cash had a serious hand in choosing his voice actors. Thirdly, the story is great. In both this book and his last, Cash uses a child as one of the narrators, and I think he really achieves this pretty flawlessly. He utilizes multiple narrators throughout both novels, and he is really able to mold each personality into something completely different from the others. Fourthly, it's a crime novel, and you know I love a good crime.

Ok, I could go on and on about this, but I think you should read it for yourself. It's a good book, and from the one time I met Wiley Cash, I decided he's a really nice person. So...there. And yes, he is married, ladies, and she seems pretty awesome, too.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Spinster Binge: Orange Is The New Black

First of all, let me say that if you haven't been watching Orange Is The New Black, you probably won't like this post. Secondly, if you're easily offended by....any kind of content, Orange Is The New Black is definitely not for you. That being said, if you are into Orange Is The New Black and haven't yet finished season two, have no fear, I'm not going to spoil it for you in this post.

I finished watching OITNB last night, and I have to say that the last episode was quite a kicker. I wasn't so sure about this season until this very last episode, but it was a good one. That is all I can say. Before the last episode, though, I was iffy. Iffy, that is, about everything and everyone but Morello.

Yael Stone's character on OITNB is one Miss Lorna Morello, and she was by far my favorite character this season. She's so pretty (and surprising Stone is actually Australian!?), but this season she was so much more than that. We got to see a little of her insane backstory which I particularly loved. It was really sort of me, at least. Through the whole season, she's just great. I wanted to be her friend.

Now I've gotten to this paragraph and I realize I can't say much more without spiling some things, so I guess I should just stop. Enjoy this fan art and check back tomorrow for another binge I just did. It's a binge of a totally different kind.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

A Tuesday Surprise

So yesterday was Tuesday, of course, which is better than Monday by about twenty-four hours. Additionally, there was an intense downpour right before I left work, and I was scared for the life of my poor little jeep. But, I got home. I got home, and I was so ready to put on my sweatpants and try to devour the last couple of episodes of Orange is the New Black, but first I had to check my mailbox.  And what did I find in my mailbox? A padded envelope from InStyle with a bottle of "InStyle Red" OPI Nail Polish. I'm pretty sure I didn't order it because I live, like, right next to Target. was a special Tuesday treat?  I don't know, but I'm not going to overthink it. I painted my nails and watched dat OITNB like it was my job except I got to do it in my sweatpants while I ate peanut butter out of the jar.

So...that happened, and it was great.

By the way, did you see the cast of Orange is the New Black on the Today Show yesterday? Crazy eyes is actually a really attractive woman in real life...I was shocked, I tell you! Shocked! I mean, we're talking this versus this! Get it, Uzo!

Also, I'm sorry if today's gif gave you a seizure. It kind of gave me a headache while I was writing this. Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Spinster Screening (and shopping): Belle

teardrop-pearl-earrings, pearl-drop-earrings, belle-earrings
This past weekend, on the recommendation of my aunt Millie, I went to see Belle. The movie was excellent and engrossing and wonderful and everything I had expected. Gugu Mbatha-Raw was exquisite, and Penelope Wilton (AKA Matthew Crawley's Mother) played a spinster. Also, Draco Malfoy was in fine form with a long ponytail.

However wonderful the movie was, though, I think the real star was the jewelry. Namely, the pearl teardrop earrings. Everyone was wearing them, and the more I saw them the more I liked them. They dangled and trembled by Gugu Mbatha-Raw's flawless jawbones, and I thought...the spinsters must know!

So, today I've put together a little collage of some really excellent versions of the teardrop pearl earrings, from the very expensive to the more affordable. So, check them out!

1. Freshwater Pearl and Rhodium Plated Sterling Silver: $189,
          Of course you had to expect that the first pair would be from JTV. But I really like these.

2. Cultured Freshwater Pearl Earrings: $161.10, Macy's
          Simple but totally wearable.

3. Freshwater Pearls and Sterling Silver: $59.99, Target
          You know I love the Target.

4. 10K Gold and Diamond Freshwater Pearl Earrings: $279.10, Amazon
          This is my favorite pair, and I can't promise I won't buy them after I finish writing this entry.

5. Faux Pearl Teardrop Earrings - Set of Five (!): $12.66,
          These are definitely the most affordable. Five pair in different colors for 12.66. At that price, you can wear a different pair every day of the workweek, OR you can think of four friends who might also need a little pizzaz in their lives.

6. Sterling Silver, CZ, and White Rice Cultured Pearls: $47,
          I mean, you're already at WalMart right now, aren't you? Just roll up in that jewelry department and get yourself some earrings.

7. Kenneth Jay Lane Crystal Bow Teardrop Pearl Earrings: $77, Thomas Laine
          If I'm not mistaken, these are clip ons. My dad gave me a pair of Kenneth Jay Lane earrings for Valentine's Day, and I love them. If these feel half as fancy as those, I highly recommend them.

8. Belle Epoque Bow and Pearl Drop Earrings: $50, Metropolitain Museum of Art Store
          I miss the Metropolitan Museum of Art. A lot. These earrings, though, look like they've been ripped right out of a magnificent painting that hangs there on the wall. Really nice.

9. White Pearl Drop Earrings: $23, JewelToGo on Etsy
          In case you need a little more dangle to your drop earrings.

So there are the earrings. I hope you enjoy them and can wear some with your bathrobe and possibly also out of the house.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Atlanta Spinstering: Murals

Yesterday was a sweltering day here in Atlanta, and I decided that for some reason this was the perfect day to go to Underground Atlanta. Perhaps Sunday isn't the best day to go to Underground Atlanta, though, as maybe half of the vendors were closed. I did, however, get to see a store called "skillz," a photo backdrop of a gangsta rapper Spongebob, an airbrush tee shirt store, and a bumper sticker that read, "Make Gas Not War." I assume they didn't mean for everyone to eat beans instead of warring, but I can't be sure.

After somewhat of a scary trip to the subterranean destination, I decided to have a little walk to find some lunch. My search for food was unfruitful, but I did stumble upon a block of South Broad Street that had some pretty cool murals. A little googling later showed me that this block had been a project in itself, and I love it. I love the color story used in the top picture, the pattern play in the second, and the slogan in the third is awesome.

I was happier to get in the air conditioning of my car than I have been all summer when I was done, but I think happening upon these murals was a pretty good reward. Of course I had to share!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Sunday Funday: Design Your Own Shoes

Well, it's wedding season again, and I'm guessing it's pretty likely you're all having to get dressed up with some regularity. Maybe you're in all the weddings, or maybe you're just attending. Either way, you've gotta find some shoes that go with as many of those outfits as possible. And guess what! You can!

The other day I ran a google search and found out there are a bunch of places online you can design your own shoes. These shoes aren't cheap, but it may just be worth it to finally get the perfect pair that goes with everything!

1. Shoes of Prey: $219 (Prices Vary)
          This site has lots and lots of fabrications and shapes. You can choose a color for every single part of the shoe, including glitter!

2. Project Shoe: $265 (Prices Vary)
          This site has a less attractive image of their shoes, but the pros are that you can choose how each part of your shoe looks. You can choose the type of toe, heel, strap, and platform.

3. Shoe Design Studio:$230 (Prices Vary)
          This is CAD based as well, so you aren't 100% sure how the shoe will look until you get it, but the cool part about this one is that it's all very visual and intuitive. You choose the front, middle, back, heel, and heel height, and you click on each part in order to color it.

4. Milk and Honey Shoes: $179
          You can't choose the interior color of your shoe on this site, but I do like that they offer flat sandals and flat shoes. As you can see, I chose flat sandals on this site. And they're pretty cheap compared to the rest of them!

5. Upper Street London: About $387
          This site seemed pretty professional. As you can see, you can also choose to have bows and other little extras. Additionally, the shoes look really realistic when you're finished.

6. Nina Shoes: $125
          You're probably familiar with this brand from shopping in your local department store. Essentially, this site just allows you to recolor Nina styles that have already been created. Still, though, the price seems right, and at least you know what quality of shoe you'd be getting.

So, if you're looking for that perfect shoe for wedding season, maybe you should design your own! Enjoy, and happy Sunday!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Saturday Shopping: Father's Day Cards on Etsy

Father's Day is a week and a day away. That means that if you haven't already gotten your card, you still have time to run out and grab one or order an extra cute one online. Yesterday I took it upon myself to find some of the best ones on Etsy. Above you'll see images of some of my favorites, and below are the links! So, check them out!

1. Biggest Fan Dad Card: $3.95, Lil Cubby

2. Printable DIY Origami Shirt Father's Day Card: $5, Oinge Shop

3. You Make Me Feel Safe Dad Card: $5.60, Becka Griffin Illustration

4. Greeting Card, Happy Father's Day: $4, Sable and Snow

5. Happy Father's Day Banner Card: $4, Ms Matilda Designs

6. Father's Day Card Farter: $4, Sweet Potato Shop

If you just can't wait, I'm always a huge fan of the home made card. Get yo'self some glitter glut and go to town!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Friday Fun: Spinster Maze

It's Friday, Friday, and you know you gotta get down on Friday. When I was in middle school, we had a teacher that would sometimes give us crossword puzzles on some Fridays when I guess she did have the strength or energy to deal with 24 crazy eighth graders. And we loved it. Sometimes she even let us work in groups, and we loved that, too.

Of course, this isn't a crossword puzzle. No, You can be illiterate and do this one, though I must say I think I did make it pretty tough. My old neighbor, Joel, is the person I learned how to make mazes from. I think we were in the fourth grade. He would make these insanely  intricate mazes and then bring them to our teacher, Mrs. Shaw, and see if she could solve them. That poor woman. I think she did them all.

Today's maze is obviously spinster-themed. At the start, imagine you're coming home from work. The first thing you do as you walk in the door is take off your shoes. Then, you want to head to the sofa, but don't get waylaid by the cookies, chocolate, and the bathrobe! You must make it to the sofa in order to enjoy your Friday night. 

As always, you can print this out and solve it! Bonus points if you post a photo of your completed maze to The Spinsterhood Diaries Facebook page. OR you could tweet an image to @SpnstrhdDiaries.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Another Fashion Illustration from This Week

Well, it's Thursday, and I feel like my brain doesn't work. However, I did make you this illustration last night. It's supposed to be swimwear, but I think it kind of looks like underwear. Just know that it's swimwear.

Speaking of swimwear, I'm proud to tell you that one of the images from yesterday's post was reposted on Aerie's website! Click here to see it. I actually posted it on instagram, but it's the same image.

Annd while we're on the subject, did you know that the first bikini was created in 1946. Here's a picture. The top is cute, but the bottoms not so much. In case you need to do more reading on the matter, here's the Wikipedia page.

Here's hoping my brain warms up a little before I go to work. Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Spinstergram: Aerie Haul

Since the chunk switch is apparently here to stay (thanks to my ridiculous love of food and candy), I found myself in need of a new swimsuit this season, and after some terrifying encounters with the dressing room mirrors of department stores and sundry other establishments, I decided I should just go ahead and order something from Aerie. If it didn't fit, I'd just have to drive out to the Mall of Georgia and return it in person. 

Now, for those of you who aren't familiar with Aerie, it's a line of lingerie, loungewear, activewear, and swimwear under the same umbrella as American Eagle Outfitters. Most often, their merchandise is sold in a small section in the American Eagle store, but there are a few actual Aerie Stores. Those are where you could actually try on a swimsuit in person if you so chose. 

One of the things I like best about Aerie is that they have a range of waist heights and leg opening shapes. I do have to get over my pride and go up a size in all things Aerie because they are made for super models, but It is invariably worth it. Their undies are comfortable, and so I was hoping the same would be true of their swimwear. 

I chose the Aerie Hi-Rise Hipster Bottom in the color called "Ibiza." I would like to be showing as little of the chunk switch as possible when I go out without experience the extremely strange situation that occurs when my apparently super long torso encounters a one-piece swimsuit meant for someone of normal proportions. For the top I purchased the Aerie Retro Halter Bikini Top in a floral print also called "Ibiza." At the end, I added on the Aerie Three Tassel Necklace in "Beach Towel," just for good measure. And also...well, because I'm pretty sure a really fabulous spinster must have designed it. 

Now, I got the package in my mailbox yesterday, and after a bout of surprisingly strenuous (and probably hilarious) spinster yoga where I was pleased I lived alone, I opened the package. So, here is the verdict in five points:

1. The bottoms fit well even though the chunk switch likes to make a tiny muffin top over everything these days. I like them a lot.
2. The top is really cute, but the color matching of the "Ibiza" ground color in the print is a little off from what the bottoms are calling Ibiza. That is, of course, not going to stop me from wearing it, though.
3. The fit of the top seemed strange at first because I tied the neck part first, but then I tried tying it the other way first, and it worked out really nicely.
4. The tassel necklace is clearly the best thing ever. Obviously. 
5. I will be sitting by my pool this weekend reading all the magazines. 

I hope you have found this entirely informative. Remember, if you're going to order a swimsuit from Aerie, you should always go up a size on the bottoms. I won't say the same for the tops, though. So, now you may consider yourself an informed spinster. Hooray for Aerie's cheap but super cute swimsuits!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A Tuesday Fashion Illustration

fashion-illustration-dress, sharpie-and-watercolor, pink-dress-illustration
Last night, after some experiments with very stinky resin, I decided I should do something much more calming. That is, I needed to do some watercoloring. The black glitter cat faces I'd tried to make with the resin turned out a bit deformed, making them perfect for leaving on coworkers' desks, but perhaps not great for making kitten-themed jewelry like I'd hoped.

Anyway, here is what I ended up drawing/painting with my watercolors. I particularly enjoyed adding the dotted pattern to the dress. Like many things I enjoy, I found it to be a sort of meditative activity. The whole thing is black fine tipped sharpie outline with watercolor filling.

In other spinsterly news, if you haven't had a Baby Ruth lately, you need to go out and get yourself one. But don't if you're allergic to peanuts. But if you aren't allergic to peanuts, get yourself a bag of minis. the entire bar may be a bit too much after all this time, but if you get a bag of minis, perhaps you, too, will wake up in the morning and find the little wrappers next to your bed. That's right. That actually happened to me. But they were so delicious.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Five Things To Do When You're Sick and Can't Speak

Yes, I know. That's a long title. But when you've been strictly observing your doctor's orders to rest your voice for the entire weekend, sometimes you have a lot to say. However, I'll try to pace myself.

So, with Laryngitis, you're supposed to rest your voice, and if you're a spinster, this may not be difficult for you. For me, sometimes it's exactly what I need. In this case, it was that, some antibiotics, a box of tissues, and a nasal steroid. My nose is pretty buff right now. (I couldn't resist). When you also need rest, which...I mean, I feel like I need rest even when I'm not actually may find yourself in need of silent, restful activities. Have no fear! With this weekend's experience under my belt, I'm here to help!

1. Do some coloring.
          In my opinion and experience, drawing and especially coloring are very relaxing. If you want to take it one step further, you can make paper bracelets like the ones pictured above that I made with one of the kids when I was keeping the nursery at church.

2. Catch up on your Netflix queue:
          You can do this while you're coloring. In fact, I highly recommend you do both at the same time. I highly recommend watching all the documentaries you put in your Netflix queue two years ago, sure you'd want to watch them sometime. There's no time like the present!

3. Clean out the fridge:
          I know, I know. This may not be relaxing, but you'll feel so much better. Plus, if you've got a stuffy nose and can't smell anything, this is actually the prime opportunity to clean out all those questionable and potentially smelly things you've neglected to throw out for longer than you'd care to admit.

4. Go to the movies:
          At some point you're going to want to get out of your apartment, and the movies is the obvious choice. Now that they have those ticket kiosks, you don't even have to talk to the cashier. You can just swipe your card and walk right in.

5. Read some magazines:
          If you're anything like me, you've got a stack of magazines and catalogs you've been meaning to look through, and you just haven't gotten the chance yet. If you don't find yourself in this particular position, though, you should be able to pick up some magazines at the drug store, the book store, or the grocery store without uttering too many words. Get, like, five or six at the very least. The very few words you utter in order to complete your purchase will be worth their weight in dog-eared pages. Since you can't smell, though, you should save all those fragrance pages until you can open them up, one at a time, deciding whether or not you want them before ultimately forgetting about the whole thing.

If none of these ideas suit you, there's always HSN, JTV and a nap. Or, you could order food online to minimize personal interaction. It's all up to you. Just get some rest and try to get that voice back.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Hooray for the Etsy Spinster Store!

Well, I've done it. I'm not sure if it was a good idea, but I've done it. I opened a Spinster Store on Etsy. I mostly did it to see what the market for digital portraits was like, but also, as many a creative person can attest, when you make things all the time, sometimes you're not quite sure what you should be doing with them once they're made.

Long ago, I had another Etsy store, and it was a colossal failure. I never quite figured out what the real trick to having a successful store on Etsy is, but the difference now is that I'm actually gainfully employed and no longer a student (this should tell you how long it's been since I actually sold anything on Etsy), so if this store sells exactly zero items, I haven't really taken too much of a loss.

And, I must say I was inspired by my sister, whose Etsy store's opening will be upcoming soon. But don't worry, I will link you to it. I think you're going to like it.

Aaaand...if you think my kitten tassel earrings are weird, then you're probably not alone. But they were fun to make, ok? Anyway, check it out...especially if you've been hankering for your very own digital portrait by your's truly.

Happy Sunday! I'm on day three of minimal speaking. Fingers crossed I can make it to monday without making my voice worse instead of better.