Friday, June 27, 2014

Tees for the Spinster Who Wants to Eat it All

Um, listen. By now I don't need to remind you I love some snacks. In case you needed a visual, though, I made this middle school-style doodle of my jaw unhinging like a snake's so that I might eat everything. My friend Leah likes to say she's feeding herself like a fatted calf, and so I have of course adopted that phrase into my own vocabulary. She is the author of many such excellent sayings, and I suppose that is why she is a writer by profession.

I was talking to Leah about my constant need for snacks the other day, in fact, when she was saying that she whole-heartedly agreed and sympathized. Then she said she wanted a shirt that said "Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!" instead of "Shots! Shots! Shots!" like the LMFAO/Lil' John song. Of course I thought this was an excellent idea and set about putting it into work.

Before I go any further, I have to tell you that one of my fondest memories of Leah is when, in freshman year of college, we decided to go to Sonic and get five for five after five (that's five between the two of us, not five each) and see if we could eat all five. Truth be told, we could not. I think we both got about a burger and a half in and had to stop.

Ok, now let's continue.


As you can see above I've created three different tees. We shall discuss in the points below.

- "Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!" - This is the tee I made in collaboration with Leah. Her request was that the font be in keeping with the rap theme. I chose a graffiti font, and I think it turned out nicely. Pictured here, it's on the Men's American Apparel Heather Grey Tee, but you can change the body and color to your liking, should you find yourself in need of a snacks tee.

- "I want to Eat Everything" - This one is just my personal mantra. My thinking in creating this particular tee was that if you let everyone know you want to eat everything, then there may actually be random snacks in it for you. If you're in high school or college or habitually hang out with drunk people, you may want to skip this tee, though, as it may encourage rude jokes. If you're an adult and you hang out with clever adults, though (eh hem), then this might be the tee for you.

- "I Heart Snacks" - This tee is simple and to the point. Again, this will probably encourage the random offering of snacks, and if you're a snacker and a spinster, it may also help you avoid those awkward party questions. "Oh, you're single?" "Yes, I'm single. I'm in love with snacks."

So, if you find yourself in deep need of the perfect tee in which to procure and eat snacks, I humbly suggest you consider one of these three. Click the links in their titles above or check them out at the Zazzle Spinster Store.

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