Eight Felons Bilking

On the eighth day of Christmas, the Spinster gave to me....Eight felons bilking, seven trees-a-trimming, six girls-a-lazing, five chicken wings, four famous nerds, three french men, two chubby pugs, and a puppy playing with feet!

Unless you're into shady deals and happen to have a swiss bank account, I'd wager you don't want any of today's fellows as your eighth day Christmas gift. They all committed some pretty crazy crimes, but the one thing they have in common is that they bilked investors out of lots of their hard-earned money. In case you were wondering, no, there are not a lot of words that rhyme with "milking" (the eighth day of Christmas is traditionally maids-a-milking).

Now, I won't type up what all these guys did because I'd basically be plagiarizing someone else's articles, but I'll link you.

1. Tom Petters

2. Arthur L. Heffelfinger (Compared to the other guys, this is fairly small time, but his face is just priceless)

3. Lou Pearlman (yep, the one from Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.

4. Charles Ponzi (let's just call him the O.G. of the Ponzi Scheme)

5. Scott Rothstein

6. Allen Stanford

7. Terry Freeman (the "British Madoff")

8. Bernie Madoff

Now, thank your lucky stars you don't have to deal with any of these guys this holiday season. Check back tomorrow for one of the most excellent gifs yet! I must say, it is a triumph.

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