Sunday, May 31, 2015

The Spinsterhood Diaries Summer 2015 Coloring Book Is Here!

Spinsters! I know I said I'd post something about the coloring book in June, but I couldn't possibly wait one more day. This past week, I received my copy of The Spinsterhood Diaries Summer 2015 Coloring Book, and I'm very excited!

Above you'll see what the cover of the new coloring book looks like. I decided on an ombre sort of scribble. Inside, you'll find coloring pages you've seen here on The Spinsterhood Diaries along with quite a few brand new ones you've never seen! The illustrations are a mix of graphic and hand-drawn, so there's a bunch of variety. And, in this one, not every image is a drawing of my face. I thought you might like a little more variety in that sense as well. There are even a few pages featuring Miranda.

If you find yourself in dire need of a coloring book for this summer, you can click this link to purchase one from OR, if you happen to live in Sumter, SC, I've sent a limited number of copies to Jill Jones Monograms, and you can purchase them from her, too. At $5.78, I think they're a pretty good bargain. However, if you're purchasing online, I highly recommend you search for a free shipping coupon, because that's where they get you.

If you missed out on the last coloring book, you're in luck! You can still get a copy if you click this link to get it on I hope I'll be making more coloring books in the future. I think they're lots of fun.

Have a happy and restful Sunday!

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Spinster Food: Outshine Yogurt Bars

Well, spinsters, it's Saturday, and I hope you're being lazy, doing something fun, or both. Because it's the weekend, I think you need a sweet treat, and I have just the thing! Outshine Frozen Yogurt Bars.

About a month ago I had a party at my apartment, and my friend Anne brought some Outshine Popsicles. The Tangerine flavored ones were my personal favorites, and the coconut lovers loved the coconut. So, when I was in the grocery store the other day, I told myself I wasn't allowed to purchase real ice cream or Gelato. Lately I've been really into chocolate milk, and that's not helping the chunk sitch. However, if there's nothing dessert-isn in my apartment, I'm setting myself up for failure and foraging like a raccoon for something sweet.To strike a good balance, I searched for a healthier option. That's when I remember Anne's delicious popsicles.

I looked at all the Outshine products, and my eyes lit upon  a little something creamier: the Strawberry Frozen Yogurt Bars. I am of the mind that the healthier option usually sacrifices taste, but when I got these guys home (they're only 90 calories, a good source of protein and calcium, and they contain live and active cultures), I was more than pleasantly surprised. I've even managed to make the box last all week!

There are a few other flavors, and I can assure you I'll be purchasing another box on this weekend's trip to the Kroger. If you're looking for a low calorie frosty, tasty treat, I think you should give these babies a shot.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Obsession Confession: Botched

botched-plastic-surgery, botched-tv-show
Spinsters, I'm delivering this information to you on a Friday for a very good reason. I didn't want to disrupt your weeks with the urge to binge on a TV show, but now that the weekend is nearly here, I can tell you about this magnificent entertainment in good conscience.

A few weekends ago, I went home for my cousin's wedding, and while I was there, my sister-in-law told me about a TV show on E! called Botched. It's about people who have had bad plastic surgery and want to have it fixed. It sounded appropriately salacious for my tastes, so the moment I got back to Atlanta, I was on my computer trying to find a way to watch it. Unfortunately, Botched is on neither Amazon Prime nor Netflix, and they only have clips on Hulu Plus. Thus, I was relegated to purchasing a season on Amazon and watching it there.

You'll notice above that my photoshoppery of my own face is rather botched. I accidentally started the file in 3,000 DPI instead of 300 DPI (if that even means anything to you), and so the file was moving at a snail's pace. So, let's just pretend we all know I can do better. The weird part about this image? That's the actual size of my eyes. All I did was remove the lower lid. I had no idea that without the lower lid I'd be a human Bratz doll.

Now, back to the tv show. If you only watch one episode (to see whether or not you actually like it), please watch the episode with the guy who is having plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber. There are no words. It is Season 1: Episode 4. People are crazy.

I don't want to spoil any more of this for you, but if you have a sick interest in strange people, I highly recommend this TV show. If you hate hyper-augmentation, then you probably shouldn't watch it. But, really, can you resist?

Now, go forth and enjoy your Friday!

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Spinster Shopping: Watermelons!

Well, Spinsters, in my time of making Spinster Shopping collages, I have discovered that one often begets another. I'll be searching around the internet and realize I'm seeing a lot of one thing or another, so I'll get the idea to make a collage of that. As you could have guessed from the image above, one of the things I've been seeing is Watermelon.

Watermelon as a fruit can run the gamut between tasteless and delicious, depending on how adept one is at choosing fruit. When chosen correctly, though, it is so refreshing. A few years ago at the Rose Bowl Flea Market, I had what I guess I could describe as watermelon juice. It wasn't just watermelon-flavored. It was actually the juice of a watermelon, and it was one of the tastiest beverages I think I've ever had.

The items in today's list may be a little on the kitschy side for most people, but on the right person, they could be really cool. Thankfully for the more conservative dressers, though, not all of these are wearables. So ch-check out the links!

1. Jones Crushed Melon Soda (12 Pack): $21.99, Jones Soda
          I can just see these looking so cute at a summer party all sticking out of an ice bucket.

2. Watermelon Print Hair Brush: $3.90, Forever 21
          This is probably one of the most secretive ways you can show your watermelon love. How many people have even seen your hair brush?

3. Splash Out Watermelon Francis: $228, Kate Spade
          If you want to spend the big bucks on a summer handbag, then this might be for you.

4. Watermelon Watch: $25.99, Amazon
          I know, I know. No one needs a watch anymore because we all use our phones. However, I think that's why people are getting more into fashion or novelty watches right now. Care for a slice of watermelon for your wrist?

5. Watermelon Ankle Socks: $8, Ron Herman
          I'm a sucker for socks. I just can't get enough of them.

6. Watermelon Dress: $161.24, Birds of North America on Etsy
          For those spinsters who are trying to ease their way into a Katy Perry styles. It's themed, but it's a bit more subtle than a dancing shark.

7. Watermelon Slice Pool Float: $40, Urban Outfitters
          I love a good pool float. The older (and chunkier) I get, the less interest I have in just sitting out in the sun. I'd rather be in the pool where I can't actually tell whether or not I'm sweating. This pool float is a bit pricey, but it's really cute. Urban Outfitters also has one shaped like a pretzel, a pizza one, and a giant pink flamingo.

8. Watermelon Bath Mat: $29, Urban Outfitters
          I feel like this is something I would have had in childhood. In fact, I may have had one...or maybe I'm just imagining that. Just imagine this as a summer update to your bathroom, though.

9. Watermelon Rain Poncho: $25, I Love No Name Shop on Etsy
          If you wore this to Disney World, no one would bat an eye. Everywhere else, you'd be a standout in the rain.

10. Jolly Rancher Hard Candy Square Bars (box of 12 packs): $15, Candy Warehouse
          Everyone has a favorite flavor of Jolly Rancher. Mine happens to be cherry, but I'm glad that my research for this post has brought to my attention that I can, in fact, purchase an entire roll of just cherry jolly ranchers. This is excellent news. Pictured here, though, are the watermelon flavor because...well, that's what this post is about.

11. Watermelon Bikini Top: $62 and Bottom: $62, Zara Terez 
          If you're still able to wear a string bikini without wanting to hide, then good on you. Maybe your'e on a watermelon diet....which actually doesn't sound too bad. I'd much prefer that to grapefruit.

12. Watermelon Beach Towel: $12.99, Kohl's
          I ruined my mom's most recent watermelon beach towel, so I may need to purchase this one. This is probably one of the places where a watermelon motif is absolutely appropriate and not at all out of place.

I hope you've enjoyed this little roundup! Perhaps you should eat some actual watermelon now?

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Spinster Shopping: The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades

After all those coloring pages lately, I thought you might need a little bit of a shopping break. Today's shopping list is perhaps a little more expensive than usual, but these prices are mostly much more affordable than real designer sunglasses. 

The great thing about accessories - especially shoes, bags, and sunglasses - is that it doesn't matter how you're body's feeling that day. Your accessories are still going to fit. So, even if you like to go to the pool or beach fully clothed from head to toe, you can still look summery in a pair of fun and funky shades. Let's link!

1. Quay Mia Shades: $40, Nasty Gal
          A few stores this season are carrying Quay sunglasses. I especially like the color of these, but if you click the link in the last sentence, you can look at Shay Mitchell modeling a whole bunch of different and amazing styles.

          I love these because they're subtle yet funky. The chunky frame makes them seem updated while the tortoise makes them a little less in-your-face.

          These are great sunglasses for the girly-girl. They're blush-ish, and they have dots. Very cute.

          If you're more of an aviator fan, these are pretty cool. I must say that Express upped their sunglasses game this year. Bravo to them. 

          If your'e a person who constantly loses and/or breaks sunglasses, Target is a good place to shop. Their sunglasses are always fairly well priced and a bit more designed than the ones at stores like Walmart and Kmart. These are trendy, but you won't feel bad about breaking or losing them.

          I feel like these look a bit more expensive than they actually are. They call to mind a few styles from Prada and Fendi that are either out this season or were out in the past few seasons. These have a nice retro flare while also being black and gold so they'll match with most things in your wardrobe.

          I do love some Isaac Mizrahi. This is another pair of sunglasses that look more expensive than they are. I also like how retro they are with the cat eye and the 50's Diner pink. Very nice.

          These are just too cute for words. The oversized chunky cat eye with the scalloping at the corner. Just perfection. That's probably why they're on the expensive side for Asos, though.

          These are some true spinster sunglasses because their shape reminds me of actual cat ears. 

          I think these are also very fashion forward and have what we like to call in the fashion industry a "high perceived value." There was a lot of subtractive-frame action this season with the higher end sunglasses, so the fact that the lenses and the frame don't exactly match up on this style makes them seem more forward.

          To get the full idea of how fabulous these sunglasses are, click through to the images and look at them on the model's face. They're excellently oversized, and the bright blue is lots of fun.

12. Two-tone Sunglasses: $19.90, Zara
          If you prefer a smaller, well priced shade but don't want to sacrifice quirk, these might be a great option for you. They've got a round shape and a color blocked body, so you don't have to cover your whole face in the name of a trend. I, for one, love a big sunglass, but sometimes it's nice to have an alternative.

And in case you're wondering what in the world I was thinking when I named this shopping collage, they're song lyrics from Timbuk 3. You can check them out in this video:

Happy shopping!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Spinstergram: My Dog May Be A Cat

cutest-dog, rescue-dog, i-love-my-rescue

Yesterday I took advantage of the day off and started work on a project I've been wanting to do for some time. However, Miranda had other ideas. Before yesterday, I thought only cats sat in the middle of your newspaper, computer, wrapping paper, or anything else you're doing. However, Miranda has proved me wrong. This is a picture of her blatantly sitting on my fabric and just looking at me. 

When I paint Miranda begs for attention in the cutest ways. She'll sit very closely behind me so that she's touching as much of me as possible. If that doesn't garner some attention, she moves to the next level: standing on her hind legs with her front paws on my shoulder, looking at whatever I'm doing. While it's distracting, it's pretty adorable. I'm not even going to lie. 

So I guess I did sort of get a least in the sense that she sits on my projects. Spinsterhood: intact. 

Now, something else: This weekend I saw Pitch Perfect 2. It was cute even if it did promote lots of racial, ethnic, and gender stereotypes (sometimes tongue-in-cheek and sometimes...not?). However, the best part was that Flula Borg was one of the leaders of the German team. 

Who is Flula Borg, you ask? Well, I didn't know, either until a few months ago. That was when my friend Meredith sent me a video of a German man wondering about the american phrase "party pooper." And it was hilarious. So, I'm going to embed it below. Enjoy!

Monday, May 25, 2015

My Amazon Front Page

Ever since I got Amazon prime a few years ago, I've been pretty obsessed. I probably visit Amazon at least once a day. I've even been writing reviews lately. The other day, though, I opened my Amazon Front Page, and the above screen shot was what I saw. My first thought was, "you know you're a spinster when..."

My best guess is that this is the top list of book suggestions for me because I pre-ordered Spinster from Kate Bolick, but that was at least two months ago. So...this just made me laugh a little.

Today on this Holiday, I hope you're out doing something amazing or either watching all the Netflix and being as lazy as possible. If you'd like to fall into the YouTube rabbit hole, then I highly suggest BBC Radio 1's covers. Just to give you a little taste, I'm going to embed below Ed Sheeran's cover of Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty." I quite enjoyed it, and I hope you do, too!

Ok...and also Imagine Dragons' Cover of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space."

Happy Monday!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Coloring Page: I Love Miranda

Up until the time I got Miranda, I considered myself a cat person. However, it was suggested to me that a dog might better suit my purposes. Dogs actually want to hang out with you all the time. 

I found Miranda on Pet Finder, and when I called the Oconee Regional Humane Society to see if she was still available, they told me to fill out an application. After filling out the application, I was planning to go meet Miranda one weekend while she was sitting outside a Pet Supplies Plus. I called again to ensure she was still available. I told the woman from the Humane Society that I just wanted to meet Miranda and see if we got along. She told me to be ready to take her home because she was so sweet.

The first time I held Miranda, I knew I'd be taking her home. She was (and is), indeed, so sweet. She'd been fostered by a family who, when they let her go to be adopted that day, thought they should perhaps have kept her. I'm so glad they didn't. Miranda's pretty much the best thing I've got going.

Traditionally, I've thought of Spinsters as people who have cats. However, now that I've had Miranda for over six months, I have to say I think she's the best. So, today I'm going to lay out the benefits my little puppy has brought into my spinsterly existence in hopes that perhaps another spinster will find her new best friend, too.

- Exercise:
          Even when I'm being lazy and watching lots and lots of Netflix, I absolutely have to take Miranda out for her walks. While I've still got the chunk sitch happening, this at least promotes some circulation in my legs.

- Knowing my neighbors:
          It's often said that people in New York don't know their neighbors. I did happen to know my last neighbor in New York, but over all, I think keeping to yourself in a neighbor situation can be a good idea. You don't want to have to move furniture all the time or lend out all your sugar. However, Miranda is such a friendly little dog, I can't help but meet my neighbors now. The best neighbors I've met while walking Miranda are ones I'd never have spoken to otherwise: the kids. Kids love Miranda, and Miranda loves kids.

- Mornings:
          Knowing I have to walk a little puppy every morning is a pretty good reason to get out of bed. I can't just let her sit there and wait forever. When I do let her out of her crate for her walk, her excitement is contagious. It's a positive way to start my morning.

- Shopping:
          Miranda loves to pull apart stuffed animals, so I find myself purchasing new ones fairly frequently. Her enthusiasm for a new toy, though, is so fun to watch that shopping for them is pretty fun. 

- Talking to Strangers:
          Generally, I don't just talk to random people, but since I've had Miranda, I've begun to think that perhaps I should. When you have a little dog by your side, she opens up conversation as a possibility with just about anyone. The interaction is always really positive, especially when they find out she's a sweet little rescue dog. 

- Dog People:
          Before I had a dog, I was pretty annoyed when someone's dog jumped on me. As such, when I first got Miranda, I assumed only a select group of people would welcome interaction with her. However, since I've had this sweet baby dog, I've discovered that an overwhelming majority of people welcome contact with her. I don't know if they're just being nice or if most people actually like dogs. Whatever it is, it makes me happy.

There are a lot more things I could say about this sweet baby, but right now I want to pet her. Happy Sunday! Aren't you glad tomorrow's a holiday?

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Coloring Page: On The Beach

beach-coloring-page, swimwear-coloring-page, fashion-coloring-page

Hooray for Saturday, and hooray for long weekends! On this first day of my long weekend, I'm headed to the pool at my apartment complex. I've got my big visor, a float, a little cooler, baby cans of coke, an oversized beach towel, and prescription sunglasses. I even made chicken salad last night in case I needed a sandwich out there. 

In celebration the long weekend and my trip to the pool, I thought I'd post this coloring page I made for the new coloring book. It's actually made for the beach (hence the umbrella), but I think it could mostly work for the pool, too. It's got everything you need! Now that I mention that, let's talk about all the things in the coloring pate...just in case you couldn't tell what all of them were. I'll start at the top left hand corner and work my way down and around.

- A book: The last book I actually read by the pool or on the beach was Ann Patchett's State of Wonder. This summer I hope to work my way through a couple of actual books and not just ones form Audible. Right now, I'm still working my way through Spinster - not because it's hard to read but because I keep forgetting to make time to read it.

- Sunscreen: Use it. 

- A Beach Hat: This makes reading easier, but it also protects your face. Usually I hate hats, especially when they're only for fashion's sake. However, the beach hat will protect your face and help you read.

- Beach Umbrella: My dad recently bought his first beach umbrella, and he's very excited about it because he has a tendency to burn. A little shade can do you good if you're not going to spend the whole day in the water.

- Bangle Bracelets: All the fashion magazines show people wearing jewelry with their swimwear, but I think that's kind of nonsense. However, it does help fill out the coloring page, what you will.

- Sandals: I mostly wear flip flops, but real sandals could be helpful when walking through that soft sand. 

- Sunglasses: Prescription sunglasses are amazing, but if you don't need those, then you've got all the options in the world! 

- Coverup: When I was younger, I used to like to go to the pool and eat lunch in "The Grill," just behind the pool. Wearing a coverup somehow seems more appropriate than eating just in your swimsuit. 

- One Piece Swimsuit: I bought my first one this year, and it's life-changing. The key was to get one that had adjustable straps. 

- Tassel necklace: Again, all the magazines and companies that make swimwear really try to push the jewelry-with-swimwear thing. That's just one more thing to take off before you get in the water in my opinion, but it's fun to color anyway.

- Backpack: Sometimes you want an alternative to the classic beach bag. This one has a cover and pockets. Maybe that'd help keep some of the sand out?

- Cooler: Stay hydrated!

- Beach Towel: I've decided that oversized beach towels are pretty much the best thing ever. Whoever decided they should start making those is a genius. 

- Magazine: No trip to the pool or beach is complete without a magazine. Last time we went to the beach as a family, my dad bought a bunch of magazines just for the girls. I have a stack just for the pool today.

I hope you're doing something amazing on the first day of your long weekend!

Friday, May 22, 2015

Friday Fun: Color Your Own Paper Dolls

Well, Spinsters, It would appear we've made it through the wilderness of another week. As such, I think you should treat yourself this morning with a little bit of relaxing fun. That's why I made you a special Plus sized coloring page today. As a bonus, you can cut this lady out, and all her clothes fit! That's more than I can say for myself, but perhaps it's because I'm 3-dimensional. I'll go with that.

Today's paper doll is made for 11x17 paper, but if you don't have that, of course you can print her and her ensembles over three pages of 8.5x11. Or you can shrink to fit, but I don't suggest that. She'll be very tiny if you do that. 

This lady didn't make it into the Spinsterhood Diaries Summer 2015 Coloring Book (I'll do a post on that when I receive my copy), so she's an extra-special printout just for today. Well...and perhaps if I decide to have a book of just paper dolls I'll put her there. 

In any case, Happy Friday! If you'd like to procrastinate a little before you actually get any work done, I suggest you find a printer, and make some paper dolls!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Spinster Food: Pulled Rotisserie Chicken

I had a really hard time deciding whether to categorize today's post as an "obsession cofession," a "Spinster PSA," or "Spinster Food." In the end, I clearly went with the most obvious option, but the other two were viable as well.

Today's topic qualifies as an "Obsession Confession," for two reasons. First, when I discovered this in the grocery store a few weeks ago, I couldn't believe my eyes. Ever since then I've been trying to find it at other stores, but it seems Kroger has cornered this market for the time being. Secondly, I think that it's a confession because this shows how truly lazy I am. However, I think we've already established that I'm lazy in pretty much every way. I don't even like to wear pants, so...yeah.

I could also have called this a "Spinster PSA," because I feel like everyone should know abut the pulled rotisserie chicken. It's perfection. It's great for salads, topped with sauces, in casseroles, or just eaten cold while standing at the counter top. I'm not here to judge, spinsters. Especially since that's how I ate it the first time.

So far, I've checked at Publix, Whole Foods, Walmart, and Kroger, but only Kroger has this fabulous product. For my part, I've been using it to make chicken salad. I like to cut it up really finely with my kitchen sheers, then add a little mayo, salt, pepper, garlic, and a splash of balsamic vinegar (because I'm addicted to balsamic vinegar), and voila! Chicken Salad!

So, if you don't live near a Kroger, I'm sorry. I sincerely hope you can find yourself some pulled rotisserie chicken very soon. It is a  game-changer....especially if you're a lazy spinster.

Happy Thursday! We're almost there!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Spinsters I Know and Love: Kate McElveen

It's been quite a while since we had a "Spinsters I Know and Love" post, but after seeing Kate McElveen this weekend, I knew I needed to do another.  When Kate returned her answers answers to the Spinster questionnaire, I found I was quite right in this idea. 

I don't remember meeting Kate McElveen, but my parents bought the house I grew up in from Kate's parents. Kate and I went to elementary school together, and then we ended up at the same high school as well. Eventually, Kate went on to the South Carolina Governor's School for the Arts and Humanities and later to a different college than I did, and I really don't know that I've seen her much since then. However, when she said ranch dressing was the fat girl's ketchup, I remembered how much I liked her.

In addition to being so fashionable that she recently styled a shoot for Garden and Gun, Kate is witty in that way that makes you want to sit on the back row of any seating arrangement and whisper-giggle. What is she whispering, you ask? Well, for one thing, she recommends Under Armor compression shorts from the boys' department if Spanx aren't quite your style. For another, she shares a love of activewear from the men's department like I do. Only, she prefers gym shorts while I like to go with the elastic-ankle sweatpants. Still, you can see how I could like a girl like this.

So, without further ado, I give you Kate's answers to the Spinsters I Know and Love Questionnaire:

Name: Kathryn Watson McElveen (better known as Kate Mac)

Age: 28 

Profession: wardrobe stylist 

Dream Job: rapper 

What you 
love to do when you have an afternoon/day/weekend at home alone:  a Laguna beach/ the hills marathon, redboxes, sporadic cat naps, Taco Bell, coke icees, and zaxbys...whoops

Favorite Breakfast food: GRITS, duh!

Favorite Takeout: Just one? Ummmm The Diamond Restaurant in Charlotte (think fried chicken, mashed potatoes, Mac n cheese, and errything starchy.

Favorite treat (food or otherwise): milkshakes...and anything potato related 

Favorite Beauty product or what's in your beauty bag: Vaseline. Mascara. Blush. Eyelash curler...always have an eyelash curler.   

Favorite nail polish or nail polish color: 50 shades of grey by Essie. 

Favorite Art or Office supplies:
Le Pen Pens

The thing you 
love to do that you probably wouldn't do if there was a boy in the picture/around your apartment: wear the sweatpants and shorts of boyfriends past...😳

Something enjoyable about being single: Doing (eating) what I want, when I want, where I want. And taking full advantage of the "McElveen minute".

If you had a one-sentence spinster philosophy, what would it be? "I'm just doing me and you can never understand it..."

What's your loungewear style? Either lulu lemon yoga pants and a sweet rapper tee or the occasional nighty. 

What's your uniform (include a sketch if you want)? Elastic or lace...let your imagination sketch that out! 

Complete this sentence: "People think_____, but really_____.": People think that I pay attention to everything going on around me, but really I'm really thinking about the newest flick out on netflix and what I'm having for dinner. 

Coffee or tea? (and what's your favorite of the one you like) coffee. Sugar free skinny vanilla latte (no pun intended)

Your go-to desk snack: frozen ROLOS. Or if it's February/March GUL SCOUT COOKIES

I have seen every episode of...:  90210, LAGUNA BEACH, GOSSIP GIRL

Your favorite spinster jams:  "CRAZY" BY BRITTANY SPEARS, "what a girl wants", "do you really want me" by Robyn, "candy" Mandy Moore and "more than a memory" by Garth brooks- oh and anything from Rent or Wicked, duh. 

Currently in your Netflix and/or Hulu queue: Keeping Up With The Kardashians; about Bruce. 

The question on everyone's mind: Kittens or Puppies, and why? Puppies...because cats are sneaky and remind me of myself too much. 

Complete this sentence: "I probably shouldn't admit this, but...": I probably shouldn't admit this but I'm obsessed  with Dave and Busters and if you're thinking of taking me out...that's the way to my heart."

In Another Life I would be Kristin Cavallari or SARAH JONES 


So there you have it! A little peek into the interior world of none other than Kate McElveen. She also writes a blog that's currently under a little reconstruction, so when it gets back up, I'll link you!

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Coloring Page: Fruit!

So, as you've probably guessed, I've been working on illustrations for the forthcoming coloring book for your summer vacation. Today I'm showing you another one of the illustrations. While fruit doesn't necessarily have anything specifically to do with Spinsterhood, I do think it's a good coloring page for summer. 

A few comments about the fruits above:

1. Those little circles dotted throughout are supposed to be blueberries, but you can make them any color berries you like.

2. That hairy-looking lemon in the top right hand corner is supposed to be a kiwi. I think the sliced kiwi toward the center of the coloring page is more obvious, though.

3. That weird-looking one on the center right hand side is supposed to be a peach. I know what it is because I drew it, but in hindsight it looks a bit strange. 

Ok...I think three qualifies as "a few." Print this out on 8.5x11 paper and get yo' crayons out. 

Monday, May 18, 2015

I'm Baaack! With a coloring page...

Well, spinsters, I'm back, and today I've brought you yet another coloring page of my face. I'm almost finished putting together the latest and greatest Spinsterhood Diaries coloring book. It should be out next month. Don't worry, though. I'll link you. 

I'm not quite sure what gives my hands in this coloring page the particular look of rubber kitchen gloves, but there they are...looking like gloves. If it makes you feel better or makes you giggle a little, you can just color my hands bright yellow. 

There will be much more to come this week, but right now I'm recuperating from a trip to South Carolina and my first (and only?) wedding of the season. At the rehearsal dinner, I got to talk to one of my friends I'd forgotten I liked so much. While I was talking to her, they served our salads, and I was saying how much I loved all these different kinds of dressings. To me - with my chunk sitch and all - dressing is pretty much the only reason for salad. Kate, though, prefers ranch dressing above all others, or as she called it, "fat girl's ketchup." I laughed so hard at this, I just had to share.

Happy Monday to you all! Start it off by coloring this coloring page. If nothing else, you should color the rubber glove hands.

Monday, May 11, 2015

See You Soon: A coloring Page

So this past weekend, I couldn't stop falling asleep, like, all the time. I fell asleep after work on Friday night and ended up eating peanut butter Oreos and chocolate milk for dinner at Walmart where I went to buy some pillows and mattress protectors for our fire victims. I fell asleep floating in the pool on Saturday morning wearing my first one piece swimsuit in a while. I had somehow fastened it wrong, and now I have a strange neckline tan. Yesterday, I fell asleep while having a foot massage and awoke to my own snoring. 

In addition to my compulsive sleeping, I'm also getting a bit of a sore throat. I think that requires a few more naps and quite a bit more Netflix and puppy cuddling.

Now, let's talk about the rest of the things on this coloring page (besides the chocolate milk, pool float, peanut butter oreos, remote control, tv, pillows, and swimsuit. I think those are already explained.) 

- Fried egg:
          At 29 years old, I fried my first egg this weekend. I'm pretty proud. It turned out well. Now I want to buy dozens of eggs and fry them all.

- Bed frame: 
          One of my coworkers' neighbors donated a metal queen sized bed frame and a hair dryer, and I went to Decatur to pick them up this weekend. 

- Bed in a Bag:
          I think I should just share this in case anyone else needs very affordable bedding. You can get an 8-piece bed-in-a-bag at Big Lots for $30. It includes a comforter, fitted sheet, flat sheet, two pillow cases, and some pillow shams. 

- Kate Bolick's Spinster:
          I really miss the subway for reading. I've had this book for three weeks, and I'm still not halfway through. I'll get myself all set up to read it, and then I'll get too hot or too sleepy or too...something, and I won't be able to continue reading. The book is great so far. I need to carve out more reading time...somehow. Don't worry. I won't start reading in my car.

- Mexican Dress:
          I ordered this embroidered Mexican dress on Amazon about a month ago, and now it's all I want to wear. I wish I had five. 

Ok, all, enjoy your week!

Saturday, May 9, 2015

A Grainy Photo of a Friday Night Spinstering

Yesterday here in Atlanta, we had some serious traffic problems. Worse than the traffic problems was the cause of the traffic. There was a plane crash on 285 with four fatalities. Because of this, though, at lunchtime, I found myself stuck in gridlocked traffic for some 45 minutes as I tried to get home to walk Miranda.

Around eight, once the traffic had cleared, it was finally time to leave the apartment again to make a trip to ye olde Walmart to purchase some mattress pads and pillows for Zee and her roommate. After a week of gathering, I think we've got about 75% of the items on our list, and I am quite pleased. I also purchased some chocolate milk for myself at Walmart, too. Friday night is, after all, a time to get turnt.

The picture you see above is of my latest Spinster Netflix Binge, Call The Midwife. If you haven't seen it yet, you must start immediately. I think it puts Miranda in a cuddling mood.

If you still want to help the ladies who lost all their things in the fire, their registry is still open! Enjoy your Saturday!

Friday, May 8, 2015

Friday Coloring Page: Rebecca Black

It's Friday, I know I always say it: You gotta get down on Friday. Rebecca Black certainly thinks so. That's why she's today's coloring page. 

After a crazy week where I didn't actually even finish eating that pan of brownies, I'm ready for Friday night. I'm ready to hang out with my puppykins and relax. Before tonight, though, you should finish this coloring page. You should print it out on 8.5x11 paper and color it in. I mean, you don't even have to color her skin in a color that would be natural for a human being. That's the beauty of Friday and the beauty of coloring pages. Do yo' thang. 

Also, if you don't think you're gonna make it until the next Spinsterhood Diaries Coloring Book comes out, check out Rosie Flo's coloring books. You can get them on Amazon, but this is her website. Charming as can be!

Happy coloring and Happy Friday!

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Spilanthropy: Wanna Help?

Ok, so I know "Spilanthropy" is a stretch. It's supposed to be a combination of 'Spinster,' and 'Philanthropy,' in case you didn't get that. Let's move on.

The post I want to make today didn't necessarily have an image to go with it. So, I'm combining two. This is the image I'm using for a portrait I'm donating to a charter school here in Atlanta for their fundraising auction. I'm interested to see what comes of that. Of course, they won't get a portrait of Miranda (unless they want one). The idea is that they'll order a portrait of their child or pet.

Ok. On to more important things. On Saturday, I mentioned that a woman who goes to my church has lost everything in an apartment fire. She and her roommate are having to start over from scratch. With the help of our church members, the staff at Wieuca House, my coworkers, my neighbor, my sister, and my mom, we're trying to pull together as much as we possibly can to help these two ladies out. I can't even imagine what they're going through right now.

So, I tell you all of this not to toot the above mentioned people's horns...well, maybe they need to be tooted a little bit. Go ahead and giggle at that one. In any case, I'm telling you in case you might want to do a little good deed this week. With the help of another one of my church mates we've put together a registry for them at Target, and if you want to check it out, the link is here. Click!

Honestly, this may have been the closest to making a wedding registry I'll ever get. I was going to make one for my thirtieth birthday, but this seems much more...appropriate. And on a serious note, I have already been so overwhelmed by all that people have been willing to give. It's really astounding, and it gives me hope.

So, if your'e so inclined, send Zee something this week. It doesn't have to be anything big. Any little thing can help.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Spinster Life: Old Cold Pizza

Last night for dinner I had a piece of old cold pizza. I'm not even sure when I got it. I just know there was one piece left, and the thought of eating anything warm was too much to bear. I looked in the pantry and the fridge, but there was nothing suitable. Everything needed to be warm, except a can of pear halves, and that didn't seem right. I'd already eaten two bananas and an apple that day, so I needed some salt. Well, and I had been planning to make brownies all day while I was sitting at my desk. So, old cold pizza it was.

I mixed the brownies first, of course, and then I licked the spoon. I saved my fridge raiding for after the brownies were in the oven. The pizza was more an appetizer than anything else.

How was the pizza? Well, first of all I should note that I am still alive. It can't have been more than a week old. However, it was quite stiff and chewy. The crust was really something. It wasn't brittle enough to be called biscotti, but it was much too hard to be a baguette. Hopefully I'll have a chiseled jawline by the weekend.

When I eat weird dinners like this, I'm always glad I don't have to worry about eating in front of anyone else. Sure, it wasn't an ideal dinner, but who cares? I was just in it for the brownies. I'm also pleased I don't have to worry about what the other person is going to eat or if they wanted the old cold pizza. So, spinsterhood for the win!

After all that, I only ate 4" of brownie edge crust. But you know what? Eventually I get to eat the whole pan...because I live alone. Again, spinsterhood for the win.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Spinster Gripe: 5 Tips For Male Online Daters

Like any girl my age who's still single, I've tried online dating. Oh, boy, have I tried! I've done eHarmony, OK Cupid, and most recently Hinge. Maybe it's because i'm getting older, heavier, and less attractive, or maybe I'm just totally burned out. Whatever it is, though, this ridiculousness has to stop. So, today you can laugh at my pain as I lay out some new ground rules for these men of the online dating world. Let's just go ahead and get to it.  These are in no particular order:

1. Don't wear a fashion hat...or any hat, really, on the first date.
          If you're meeting a girl from online, and you show up wearing a hat, you're just adding another element that could signal something horribly wrong. For instance: She may hate your hat. She may think it's ugly. OR she may think you're bald underneath and trying to hide it. Just show her you're bald, man. If you're a great guy, and you've really got your stuff together, baldness is not going to matter. And if it does matter, then she's not for you. You may think you're being fancy or sneaky by wearing a hat, but she just thinks your'e trying to hide something or are taking an unnecessary fashion risk. 

2. Don't use the dating websites as text messaging apps.
          Seriously, we're all on here to get a date, right? If I really wanted to text back and forth with someone so bad, I've got a phonebook full of people - male and female. If I'm so desperate to text someone, then maybe you shouldn't want to be texting with me. Man up and set up a coffee date. It'll cost you about $4 if we go dutch.

3. Don't ask for my phone number before I've met you.
          Until I see you live in the flesh, for all I know you're Catfishing me. I don't want you to have my phone number and harass me. This is also why I like to stick to the three-messages-and-meet policy. It's much easier to tell if someone exists and looks like their pictures by seeing them in person.  It's also easier to tell if you've been talking to an actual fish instead of a person. So embarrassing, right?

4. Please stop with your Zoolandering in your profile pics.
          There is one of, like, three faces a guy makes in his profile picture which he (i guess?) thinks are both funny and attractive. Because I'm seeing a bunch of these, I can tell you that it's not funny because it's absolutely 100% unoriginal. The faces are these: The actual Zoolander face, The serious/"sexy" (not sexy at all) face with one eyebrow raised, and some kind of serious face where your thumb and forefinger cradle your chin. Don't do it. It's just weird, guys, and we're not impressed. 

5. Don't just have guy interests.
          It seems like every single guy in online dating is into sports, is outdoorsy, and is active. Bonus points if they admit to being a gamer. Please note that there are a lot of girls who aren't interested in any of those things as a hobby. They are "active" because it's necessary, they go outdoors to get to their car, and figure skating is their favorite sport. Please do not expect us to be interested in your man interests. Please have some unisex interests like art, books, movies, food, or Betty Friedan. Any and all will do. 

I feel like I could write about seventeen more entries with more guidelines, but these will have to do for now. Here's to the death of fashion hats on first dates!

Monday, May 4, 2015

Spinster Food: Honey Glazed Almonds

emerald-nuts-honey-roasted-almonds, honey-roasted-almonds

One night last week I decided I should watch the documentary Fed Up on Netflix. I'd heard someone in my office being Diet Coke-shamed because of this documentary, and so I thought I'd check it out. Mostly, because I really hate food shamers. As one of my former coworkers used to say: Don't yuck my yum. 

In the documentary, there's a part where they talk about how almonds are a good snack choice because of the other elements they offer to your diet besides just the calories. My sister's pretty into almonds, and it's not like I haven't had them before. It's just that sometimes, after you eat a bunch of raw almonds, it starts to feel like you're chewing on tree bark. Maybe that's just me, though. It's probably just me. 

In any case, I went to the grocery store yesterday to purchase milk for a box of cereal I already had and didn't realize was mostly empty (ain't that always the way?). While I was there, I decided to pick up some raw almonds. Well, when I got to the almond section, I discovered that Emerald Nuts has been going nuts with their nuts. (pun absolutely intended). They had, like, six different flavors of almonds, all in the nice resealable packs. I got the raw almonds I'd come for, but then something caught my eye. There on the shelf was a bag of honey roasted almonds

I thought to myself that these could be delicious or weird, so of course I need to try them. I managed to wait in line and make it all the way to my car before ripping to bag open. Spinsters, what happened next was all out  almond carnage. I ate half the bag in the time it took me to drive, like, five blocks. I finally had to make myself stop once I got inside my apartment because I was afraid Miranda would try to eat them, and I didn't want to share. 

In case you haven't discovered the glory that is the honey glazed almond, I suggest you try one or ten. I'm not going to say I think they're much healthier than any other snack. Certainly they're not better for you than raw almonds or fresh fruits or vegetables. But, you know, what is? These can be your treat almonds. I'd imagine they'd be great with ice cream. Think on that. You're welcome.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Two Images From Yesterday: Ducks and Paint

Yesterday was a day for spinstering in grand style, first at the Veterinary clinic to weight Miranda and purchase heart worm medication, then at the dog park where a dog named Baxter took quite a liking to Miranda. I think we're going to have to have the "no means no" talk. That works for dogs, right?

The image you see above is perhaps not surprisingly just an image of my painting palette. I didn't actually get any painting done yesterday - mostly because I was lazy and watched too much Netflix after the dog park - but since I painted Miranda's portrait, I have seen an uptick in portrait interest, which I quite like. So, if you have a hankering for a portrait, you can order one via the ol' Spinsterhood Diaries Etsy page. By 'order one,' I suppose I actually mean send me a message inquiring. 

Now, below is the second image from yesterday. I took it around 9pm while Miranda and I were taking our evening constitutional. Right as we passed the pool, I saw these two little scoundrels hop in to have a little swim. Unfortunately, the pool has not yet been opened to humans for the season.  It's probably just as well, though. I bet those ducks like to relieve themselves in the pool.

Happy Sunday to you all! Perhaps you should find a pool of your own and shoo the ducks away so you can enjoy yourself. 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

An Old Sketch and some Saturday Thoughts

Today's sketch is a pretty old one. I think I must've made this one sometime in 2010. It's one of those keyring wallets. As you can see, though, I hadn't quite gotten the hang of photoshop and so left that weird grey shadow opaque instead of letting if be in "multiply" mode or just getting rid of it. Eh, you live you learn, right? 

This morning I just have a few points for thought, and one of them will explain the tardiness of this post and the use of an old sketch. If you want to skip to that one, just go to the very bottom. 

          This week I went to a restaurant called Ten Degrees South here in Atlanta. It's South African cuisine, and it was quite nice. From the outside the restaurant doesn't look like it's going to be anything fabulous, but once inside, it's really very nice. The front room has lots of windows and some dinner tables. The second room is much darker with a few more tables. All the way at the back is a full  bar (pictured on the landing page of the website), and on the way to the bar, there is a nice room with upholstered furniture I assume is in the style of South African decor. I think I'll go there again. 

          If you watch the new at all, you've heard of Kickstarter. It's a popular crowdfunding site, and they have lots of projects you can support. Like the NPR pledge drive, each level of support comes with a reward, all levels listed on the side of each kickstarter page. I've only gone onto Kickstarter before to support projects my friends are trying to fund. However, yesterday, I perused a little. Here are some of the projects that caught my eye most. 

          Beware: there are some wet tee shirts in this one. Im not even sure what's going on here, but it's fully funded. And now you know where you can get a wooden eyepatch.

          The name of this project really creeps me out, but if you're a spinster in need of some new undies, well, you can get a three pack just for supporting at the $15 level. That's a pretty good deal, right?

          If you'd like a baby to wash your body instead of washing a baby's body. Put these in your guest room when you have guests you'd like to leave. Re: fund this project. People funded Zack Danger Brown's potato salad, for crying out loud. But his page was excellent. 

- Constrvct
          This is also a successful Kickstarter, and I think it's pretty awesome. 

          This i snot a Kickstarter thing. It's a totally different website. My coworker Crystal just started one. Watch the video. I made it!

- What happened last night:
          Last night, a woman who goes to my church, Zee, lost her apartment to a fire. My friend Karen called me and my friend Amanda, and we brought coffee, which was all we could really do. Zee is OK, but she's lost pretty much everything. She's a US citizen, but she's not originally from here. Please stay tuned. When I find out how to help (she's already had coffee), I'll post an update. For a new report about the fire, click here

Have a happy Saturday. I'll keep you posted!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Video Spinstering: ASMR Swimwear Sketching

So, a couple of weeks ago, I made a new ASMR video. Of course, it wasn't really a traditional ASMR video. It was more of a combination ASMR/tutorial/fashion design video. I was so excited about my discovery of the moving screenshot function in Quicktime, I just had to make another. This time, it's a little bit more seasonally appropriate, and it's womenswear.

At the beginning of the video I made a couple of art brushes, but then once I was finished editing it,  I realized I never actually used the brushes. So...that's a little bit of a freebie for anyone who chooses to watch this new ASMR video.

Now, a lot of people are creeped out by a soft-spoken ASMR video, but a lot of people use them to fall asleep. I'll have to be honest and say that I almost fell asleep while I was editing this one. It'd done in real time, so you're watching this at the actual speed at which creating flats occurs. Somehow that's a bit slower than I thought it might be.

Now that I've gone one and on about the video, let's just embed it at the bottom of the post. Watch it if you're in need of some relaxation today, or of you like swimwear, or if you want to know how flats get sketched in the industry. Enjoy!