Friday, September 23, 2016

Spinster Shopping: *Deluxe* Breakup Care Package



I love a good care package. And, as a spinster, the most appropriate one is generally one that has to do with being single. I've done a breakup care package before, but while changing my sheets the other night, I thought that I should revisit the subject. I thought I should, in fact, make a deluxe version. Why not? These items are a little pricier than the ones in the last box, but sometimes you gotta go all out.

So let's talk through this. I'm going to go left to right.

1. A Makeover
          A breakup isn't just the end of something. It's the beginning of a new chapter. So, why not get a new look? If there's nowhere to get a real makeover near you, then perhaps a gift card to sephora or her favorite beauty counter.

2. A Haircut
          Don't give the haircut yourself...unless you're actually her hair stylist. The haircut is one of the most iconic ways to deal with a breakup. So, if your single friend hasn't done this yet, get her the haircut yourself.

3. A Blowout
          She already chopped the locks in an act of liberation and self-renewal? Then get her a blowout...I just really think this is a gift for all occasions. This or a massage, really. How could you go wrong?

4. New Sheets
          Nothing makes me feel fresher and more relaxed than a clean set of sheets. But new ones? That's next-level. Want to go all out? Perhaps a new quilt or a new duvet cover. Something that will make her room feel like an expensive hotel, perhaps?

5. Tickets
          Get her some tickets to a show or concert or event that she'll really like. Since she's newly without a date, you might want to make sure you can go with her.

6. Jewelry
          So, he didn't want to put a ring on it? Well, that's ok. You can put one on it for her. Or a necklace...or a bracelet...or a fabulous tiara. Of course, I'm thinking costume jewelry, here...don't worry.

7. A New Bathrobe
          What kind of spinster would I be if I didn't include a bathrobe in this list? This one, though, should be something she'd never buy herself. Perhaps something with marabou trim at the hem and sleeves? If you find that at a reasonable price, let me know. I fantasize about traipsing about my mansion or penthouse apartment in a marabou-trimmed dressing gown and kitten-heeled bunny slipper mules. It would be the perfect spinsterly ensemble...and lifestyle.

8. A Maid Service
          So, you don't have to pay for the maid service in perpetuity. However, with all her bed-sniveling she may have let her apartment become a bit...untidy. Having someone else take care of the cleaning without judgement might be really nice.

9. Takeout
          Maybe your friend doesn't want to go out to dinner tonight, but that doesn't mean you can't send some her way. I've heard about girls on Tinder asking guys to send them pizzas, but it'd be much less creepy to receive one from a friend.

Have more ideas for this list of deluxe items? Leave a comment!

Happy Friday!

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