Monday, October 31, 2016

Some Halloween Spinster Thoughts

happy-halloween-gif

I can't promise that today's thoughts have really anything to do with Halloween, but they are thoughts, and I'm having them on Halloween, so they're Halloween Spinster Thoughts. Haha. I think they're probably just regular shower thoughts, but you know...here they are.

1. There was a girl at my high school who had a tie dye L.L. Bean backpack. Instead of having her name embroidered on the bag, though, she had the words "gypsy moon" embroidered. Every now and then I think about that.

2. Yesterday I woke up thinking I would eat some cereal for breakfast only to find out that I had eaten the last of the cereal the morning before. I ate goldfish for breakfast, and while I was doing so, I wondered if I could just have added milk and eaten them like cereal. Then I googled it. I'm not the only person to ever have thought of eating goldfish as cereal. Here's a video from Good Mythical Morning:


3. Speaking of cereal, I went to Kroger yesterday, and Honey Bunches of Oats were all on sale for cheaper than the store brand cereal. I'm regretting not having bought more now that I'm thinking about tit.

4. Some shower thoughts I read recently that made me laugh:
           1. We're already living in space.
           2. Church is just the world's biggest book club.
           3. Imagine being naked and walking into a room where everyone wants to touch you. That's the life of a dog or cat. 
           4. Internet Browsers should wait to ask me if I want to save my password until after I have figured out if I input the right one. 

5. I bought a multi-pack of fun-sized M&M bags for Trunk or Treat. Literally no one wanted the plain ones, but I suspect there were more plain packets than peanut or peanut butter. I feel cheated. I bought cookie dough so I can use those plain M&Ms in a more appealing way.

Ok, that's all I have to say. Happy Monday!

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Spinster DIY: Bouquet Costume


So, last night was my church's Trunk or Treat. I waited too long to take a photo, and it got dark, and I had already given away two of my giant flowers. Nonetheless, I had a friend take a photo so you could sort of get an idea.



To get some different levels, I stuffed a dog bed I keep in my car under the black felt, so my "garden" wouldn't be flat. In the front, you'll see a box of bubbles that sort of ruined the composition, but the kids loved them.

If I hadn't been trying to do this trunk as cheaply as possible, I perhaps would have used green felt instead of black so that it would look more like a garden. However, I already had the black felt, so I used that.

I was also painting faces, so that's why the chairs are in front of my car.

I'm proud to say that aside from the candy, I spent less than $5 on my whole trunk-and-costume combo. The flowers were made of watercolored printer paper, for which I already had all the supplies. I already had the dress from a clothing swap, and the felt was from a show I did last year. I spent sixty-nine cents each on two pieces of neon pink cardboard for the big flower on my dress. The bubbles, face paint, and chairs were provided by the children's ministry at my church.

Side note: If you notice that my feet look weird in this photo, it's because my legs are crossed because I'm mid-fall in this photo. Ha. Of course.

Now a few technical notes:

1. The Head Piece:
          I already had a metal headband, and I added an oval of of poster paper to it as a base to stabilize the flower. Then, I used packaging tape to attach the big white flower to the oval of poster board. Voila! My head piece!

2. The Flowers On My Dress:
          I used big spring-loaded hair clips to attach these to my dress and just taped them onto the back of the flowers with packaging tape. That didn't hold super great, but it did last until I needed to take off the flowers.

3. Adding Bases to the Flowers:
          The centers of the flowers are a little awkward to glue in place, especially if you're using white glue like I was. I'm not a huge fan of hot glue guns, and I already had white glue, so that's what I used. Toward the end of this craft project, I decided to add an X-Shaped piece of paper to the bottom of these. The center of the 'X' was large enough to  cover the bottom of the piece, and then the legs of the 'X', as it were, to the sides of the center piece. Once that was dry, I was able to just add the glue to the bottom, and stick it on. There you go. Much easier, and much more stable!

Ok, I'll be wearing this one again tonight because...well, it was basically free, and I think it's pretty cute if I do say so myself. Happy Saturday!

Friday, October 28, 2016

Spinstergram: Paper Flowers


Well, I may have gone a little overboard with the paper flowers. BUT! My Trunk or Treat Trunk will be in full bloom. So, there's that. Now all I need to do is figure out how to incorporate some of these into a halloween costume or affix one large one to a headband. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a photo for you!

Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Spinster DIY: Watercolor Flower


So, for Halloween, I was going to be Brexit, but then I remembered I need to wear a costume to Trunk or Treat at my church, and children won't know what Brexit is. So. I thought about what I already had in my closet, and I remembered that I have a bright green dress. And then I remembered that I'd seen a bouquet costume, so I decided to make my own version. This comes with the built-in trunk decoration idea of a garden.

Because I'll be making both the flowers for my costume and the flowers for my trunk, I've been doing a a little experimentation. I decided last night to try out making a watercolor flower. I mostly did this because I'm trying to use things I already have in my apartment and not spend any money, and I don't have any colored paper that isn't covered in glitter. The photo above is of my first attempt at the watercolor flower, but I think it's pretty fun. I'll be making some improvements to the next one, but I think the overall results for my garden will be pretty fun.

If you want to make your own paper flowers, you can watch the video I watched. It's super easy. I'm embedding below for your convenience!


Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Miranda Print



You must've known it was only a matter of time. I liked the photo I took of Miranda over the weekend so much that I had to make it into a print. And also, of course, I love Miranda herself.

She escaped from the back yard this weekend only to sit in the front yard, approaching the first people she knew and asking them to pet her. I am so glad she didn't run away. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's the best.

Ok. I'm done. Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Spinster Shopping: Single Tees from Amazon


Yesterday's post was all about Alibaba. Today's post, though, will be all about Amazon. Where words are concerned, I feel like I may trust them more.

If you're a single lady and you'd like everyone to know (or at least to stop asking), then perhaps you've considered wearing a sign. But if you're driving, a sign can be a little awkward with that seat belt. Instead, why not get a collection of tees that will tell everyone without making you too uncomfortable.

Let's look at your options.

1. Pizza Is My Bae Tee: $12.30
          You may have noticed that the majority of these tees reference food. What's better than guys? Well, a lot of things, but food is definitely one of them. And pizza? Well. I don't think I need to tell you it's wonderful.

2. I'm Single Tee: $16.95
          If you're single and looking, this tee is clear and to-the-point. But you know..even if you're not looking, this may actually answer any of those pesky questions bout whether or not you're seeing anyone. No. You're not. You're not seeing anyone. You're single. Thank you for NOT asking.

3. I'm Only Single Because I Can't Date Food Tee: $18.99
          Sometimes I pretend I'm dating food anyway, though.

4. Single AF Tee: $17.99
          Perhaps this is too vulgar for you, but sometimes a spinster can feel exactly this single.

5. Fries Before Guys Tee: $19.99
          Guys have a saying about putting their friends before their girlfriends. But girls have had a little harder time. I've heard "ovaries before brovaries," and I've heard "sisters before misters," but somehow "fries before guys" speaks to something all together different in the spinster's soul. Namely, the hungry part.

6. My Favorite Type Of Men Is Ramen Tee: $14.99
          Have you been disappointed by men so many times you just aren't even looking anymore? If you know the right restaurant, ramen can never let you down. If you're cheap, Ramen won't let you down at home, either.

All right. I hope you got a little giggle out of these. Happy Tuesday!

Monday, October 24, 2016

Spinster Shopping: Cat Tees from Alibaba


So, ever since I ordered a glittery phone case from Alibaba (which I broke this morning by dropping it on a very hard piece of gym equipment), I've been obsessed with looking at all their crazy merchandise.

Today, in true spinsterly fashion (pun intended), I thought I would present to you a collection of cat tees available to you through the website. Shipping can be free, but you have to be willing to wait for 20-ish days. Also, read the reviews. And, look at the sizing chart to make sure you're ordering the right size. Sometimes the measurements are in Centimeters, so pay attention to that, too. What you get may not be the highest of quality, but you're not paying very much, so sometimes I think it's worth the risk.

Ok, let's talk about what's in that collage up there.

1. Watercolor Cat Tee: $4.05
          With shipping, this one turns out to be around $6, but I think it's pretty. If you've got six dollars and twenty days to spare, perhaps you're willing to take the risk.

2. All Over Cat Print Tee: $3.15
          I love this. I think it'd be really easy to wear.

3. Nine Lives Tee: $11.82
          This has a hint of the nonsensical graphics you sometime get on ESL tees, but I still like it.

4. Cat Scream: $9.02
          The landing image for this page is not the dreaming cat, but it is listed as one of your options. Scroll down through all the color options. You will get a good little chuckle.

5. Multiple Cats Illustrated Tee: $4.84
          Again, the landing page for this style isn't the graphic I've pictured here. However, it's listed as one of the "color options." I like these whimsical cat illustrations.

6. Kitten Attack: $9.40
          I just love the absurdity of this image. You've got a laser cat, flying saucers, and beachgoers fleeing. All excellent.

7. Circle Cat Tee: $4.79
          I think this is cute and kind of fashion-y. However, I read some of the comments, and I think you'd better order a couple sizes up if you decide to go with this one.

8. Cat with Taco and Pizza: $9.74
          who could ask for anything more?

9. Cat Ears Tee: $9.87
          If graphic tees aren't your thing, perhaps a square-necked tee with cat ears at the neck is for you. Pretty cute.

10. Shocked Blue-Eyed Cat Tee: $9.74
          I just like this cat's facial expression.

Ok! I hope you find something you like here. If you're thinking of Christmas gifts, better order now...it's gonna take a while to get to you.

Happy Monday!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Just Look At My Dog


The only think I have to say to you today is that my dog, Miranda, is the cutest dog in the world. She is the best and the cutest and also the sweetest. Just look at that face. And look at THOSE EARS!

Ok. Well, I hope you saw this in the morning so you can think about it all day. Miranda is the best. The end.

Friday, October 21, 2016

I've Started Shipping Christmas Orders!


Yesterday I shipped my first two Christmas orders of the season. I shipped one Drawing to South Carolina and one Painting to Virginia. It's so fun to see where the portraits go around the country.

I found myself quite without any envelopes to send the drawing yesterday, so I hopped on over to Target (because that's the closest store to me that would carry them (which means I feel super lucky)), and I found this super cute striped padded envelope. So of course I bought this one, and I think it looks really cute with the Miranda sticker on it.

If you're thinking of ordering some art for yourself or a loved one and would like to get it by Christmas, make sure to submit your order soon. Submitting an order consists of all information : size, style (painting or drawing), colors (if it's a painting), and the photo you'd like me to use for reference.

For more info and samples of my work, you can visit www.SarahJJonesArt.com. For available sizes and pricing, please visit the pricing page here. Please remember I am able to accept orders via email only. (Here's the contact info page.)

All right! That's it for today.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Spinster Pins: Easy DIY Halloween Costumes

easy-diy-halloween-costumes

If you're the sort of spinster I am, you don't go in for those "sexy" halloween costumes. For us, something a little more creative is in order. So, in case you haven't made up your mind yet, I've done a little Pinterest-searching for you. Let's look at these ideas.

1. A Bubble Bath:
          I think this is a great idea. It can be as easy or difficult as you want. Some people used balloons, and some people used clear plastic christmas ornaments. Either way, it's pretty easy.

2. Taxidermy:
          If you've got some face paint (or just some makeup, I guess) and a cardboard box, then you've got this.

3. Bob Ross Chia Head...or just a regular Chia Head:
          This woman says she crocheted the beard, etc, but I'm pretty sure you can just do this with glue.

4. Pig in a Blanket:
          This is just cute. And super easy.

5. A Gum Ball Machine:
          Only if you have a lot of time to glue things down. Netflix binge?

6. A Chicken:
          I actually laughed out loud when I saw the gloves on this woman's feet. Genius.

7. Lipstick:
          There's a DIY attached to this pin, and I'm not sure how easy it actually is, but it's SO CUTE.

8. A Bouquet:
          Perfect if you've been wanting to make those giant fake flowers. I love this one.

9. A Skunk:
          These feather boas are super cheap, and you know you already have a black dress or black pants and a black top. Excellent.

10. Toothpaste:
          Guys. I'm pretty sure she's got a lampshade on her head. And that's all I needed to see. Sold.

And, for the bonus round, here is a picture of a horse dressed as a poodle. You're welcome.

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Spinster Fan Art


When thinking about Fan Art, it's hard for me not to want to use a hashtag like #FArt. Somehow, though, I think that would bring different results than one might expect were they looking for art.

A week or so ago, I got a message via Tumblr from the TV Critic's Choice Awards asking me to submit some of my Fan Art to their tumblr. Most of it was already on this blog or tumblr anyway, so I decided to do it. Last  year at their event, they had a backdrop on the red carpet of Fan Art for each show that was nominated. Actors and actresses would stand in front of a wall of art about their show for photo ops. I thought that was pretty cool.

So, I'm hoping they like some of my stuff enough that they'll choose to show it on the red carpet. Who knows? Maybe they will.

Last year's host was T.J. Miller, the annoying one on HBO's Silicon Valley. You might also recognize him from Deadpool or as the voice of some disgusting phlegm in Mucinex commercials. So, today's image is of him. And of course I submitted this one, too.

In other news, I am already pretty deep in Christmas portrait orders, so if you were thinking of getting one, then order soon if you want it by Christmas!

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Tuesday Doodle: Fran's Baby Dog


My friend Fran's birthday was over the weekend, and so I made her a little gift. This is her dog Lily. I had this printed and framed it myself and gave it to Fran. I think pet art is such a fun way to decorate a home. Of course, I'm sure it helps that I happen to make pet art as well. Haha.

That's all for me today. Happy Tuesday!

Monday, October 17, 2016

Six Tiaras and Costumes to Justify Buying Them


I think every spinster should be the queen of her own domain. As such, a crown or tiara seems appropriate. But how do you justify such an expenditure if you're mostly going to wear it with your bathrobe while you watch Netflix? Purchase it "for a Halloween costume," that's how. So, today, I've found six semi-affordable crowns and tiaras from Amazon. After I give you the links, we can discuss what sorts of costumes you can concoct so that owning this crown afterward won't seem strange.

So, here are the links:

1. TinkSky Wedding Tiara: $8.99

2. Vintage Princess Tiara: $14.45

3. Stuff Crystal Crown: $20.98

4. Remedios Royal Wedding Tiara: $15.69

5. Pearl Flower Tiara: $26.99

6. TopWedding Emerald and Gold Crown: $16.99 (I actually like the ruby version better, but the emerald option had a better photo. There's also a Sapphire option.)

Ok, now that you know where to get these fabulous things, here are some costume ideas to justify this purchase:

1. A Queen:
          Of course, this is the most obvious, but it could be great. You know you've got some bridesmaid's dresses or old formals lying around. And let's be real. You're not going to wear them again. So, grab one of those, cut a circle in the center of a circular table cloth, cut straight up the center for the front opening, and voila! you've got a fabulous cape. I'm not sure that sentence worked, so i'm adding a little diagram, too. Make it extra fancy by adding a black and white feather boa at the collar or hem for a faux ermine look. Or keep it simple by using a brooch as the closure. OR, if you're willing to spend a little more, nix the cape and get a faux fur wrap. Of course, you could also make that look like ermine with a sharpie or a little bit of paint.

2. Miss America:
          Prom dress, formal, or bridesmaid's dress plus the tiara and add a sash! Bonus if you carry a trophy or bouquet of roses all night. Want to make it political? Be Miss USA and have a buddy dress as Donald Trump.

3. Queen of Hearts:
          Check out the ruby version of Crown #6 for this one. The rest I'll leave up to your interpretation.

4. Queen Elizabeth:
         Wear a floral 1980s granny dress with your crown. OR you could make it a little classier and wear a pastel skirt suit. This would work even better if your dog happens to be a corgi. OR you could carry this corgi purse from Etsy. Adorable.

5. Glinda The Good Witch:
          So, all of the crowns on this list are a bit smaller than the one Billie Burke wore in The Wizard of Oz. If you go with crown #3, though, you'll have a much easier time getting through doorways. This may be the appropriate time to purchase these marabou trimmed mules as well. I'm pretty sure you can lay your hands on something pink and fluffy to wear as the dress.

6. A Pageant Toddler:
          When I couldn't sleep one night, I saw a commercial for Perfect Smile Veneers online. They're basically adult flippers. If you're a fan of Toddlers and Tiaras, then you know what I'm talking about, and I don't need to tell you anything else about how to build this costume.

7. The Princess and the Pea:
          Going with a friend? You be the princess, and they can dress as the pea.

8. Queen Sugar:
          You could dress as the real Queen Sugar from Oprah's series, or you could make this into a pun and put candy all over yourself and wear the crown.

9. Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality

10. A Mis- pun
          Some ideas might include:
                    - Miss Communication : great if you actually work in communications - you could do something phone- or sign- related
                    - Miss Direction: attach a bunch of directional signs to your outfit, then add a crown and a sash
                    - Miss Fortune: a crown and lots of monopoly money
                    - Miss Fit:  A Crown, a sash, and your workout clothes.
                    - Miss Judge: Wear your graduation Robe, a crown, and a sash. Maybe add a gavel and a powdered wig.
                    - Miss Labeled: For the girl who loves her label maker. Just COVER yourself in labels, then add the crown and sash.

Ok, if you have any more ideas, leave a comment! Happy Shopping!
                   

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Yesterday's Digital Doodle


So, I'm sick. Like, lay in bed all day sick. I have a nose that's constantly vacillating between dripping like a faucet and feeling like I'll never breathe again. When I was awake yesterday, though, I did what I will call a little digital doodling. Above, you'll see the result.

Basically, I took a selfie that I had taken earlier in the week, raised the contrast in Photoshop until I thought it would break down into three colors - registration, white, and a middle tone. In illustrator, i changed the middle tone to a diagonal stripe pattern I had created. Then, I rasterized so that the image was a bitmap. Then, I colored it with Navy, Yellow, coral, and fuchsia, made the transparency "multiply," and moved them around. And voila! Here's my rainbow face. Please enjoy!

Tomorrow, some more halloween ideas.

Happy Sunday!

Friday, October 14, 2016

Audible Spinstering: The Nix


So, if you've ever talked to me in real life, you know I listen to NPR pretty much all day. So, a lot of my book recommendations come from reviews or author interviews. Today's book is one such book.

Author Nathan Hill has, apparently, been compared to John Irving. After reading this book, I can see how they do explain some of the same themes, but when I first started listening, I was struck at his attention to the details of everyday life and thought - kind of like David Foster Wallace.

I'm going to try to write this report/review without any spoilers, but I may have to include some.

The book is about a writer who is disillusioned with his professorship and obsessed with a world-of-warcraft-inspired online game. He got a book deal years ago which he never fulfilled. When a political new story of the moment turns out to remotely involve him, he is encouraged (or pretty much forced upon threat of a law suit for breech of contract) to write a book on one of the main protesters.

The story line is interesting, but some of my favorite moments were actually the thought processes of some secondary and tertiary characters like one of the main character, Samuel Anderson's, students and one of his teammates in the online realm.

One of the reasons this book was such a good read (or listen, really) was that I never knew what was going to happen next. I also never knew what part of the book was going to be the most important. Was it the gaming? The student? Samuel's childhood friends? Of course everything sort of works together to make the story, but the book defied my predictions.

As far as the John Irving comparison goes, I will say I think this is less transgressive than Hotel New Hampshire. There are some dodgy parts, but nothing too insane.

I also think that this book contained a lot of good and interesting commentary on today's internet and communication culture.

Ok, ok. I think you should just read the book. I liked it. It was engrossing, and if you listen to  books on the treadmill like I do, this will be a good distraction.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Recent Reads: Your Name Is Renee and China Rich Girlfriend


I go through a lot of audio books while I walk on the treadmill, but I also read a bit of a paperback every night before going to sleep. I'm not a particularly fast reader, and I don't read more than a chapter a night, so these two books took me probably a  month and a half. But, since I haven't written about either of these, I thought I'd post a couple tiny reviews today.

Kevin Kwan's China Rich Girlfriend
          Before I started reading this book, I didn't realize it was actually the sequel to Crazy Rich Asians. It's a fast-paced, light summer read, and it's especially enjoyable for its descriptions of travel destinations and delicious foods. If you weren't able to travel abroad this summer, this book could have been a sort of mental substitute.
          I must stress to you that this is a light read. It is not terribly intellectual, so if that's what you're looking for, I don't necessarily recommend this. Also, I think Kwan over uses the word "sumptuous" in this book. On the whole, though, I liked it.

Stacy Cretzmeyer's Your Name is Renee
          I was in the walk in closet of my childhood bedroom a couple months ago and decided to have a look at some of the books. I vaguely remembered purchasing and reading Your Name Is Renee sometime around middle school. Something makes me think I bought it at one of those school book fairs.
          I think this story is sort of a memoir, except that the author is not actually the person the story is about. So, I'm not really sure exactly where this book falls genre-wise. However, if you're at all interested in history or World War II, I think this is pretty interesting.
          The story itself is told from the perspective of Ruth (AKA Renee), a young child during the Nazi occupation of France. She is not quite so hidden as Anne Frank was, and (spoiler alert) she actually lives through the war and eventually moved to the United States, married, and had a family of her own. That's not so much of a spoiler, though, since someone had to relay the story to Cretzmeyer years later.
          The thing I enjoyed most about this book is a child's perspective on the kindness of the resistance as well as her time in a convent. It's a thin book, too, so it's a pretty quick read.



So, if either of these sounds good to you, then I say go for it! Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Spinster Shopping: Tuesday Vibes


It's Tuesday, and I thought we could do a little shopping. All of these things look good to me, but I know for sure at least two of them are amazing. So, let's talk.

1. Deco Earrings: $24.99, Amazon
          I like these. I can imagine they're really versatile, and you'd wear them a lot. I also have a feeling, they're smaller than you think they're going to be. But I'd wear them.

2. Snickers Pumpkin: Priced Per Store:
          If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you may have read that I think seasonal snickers are better than the regular ones. For the first time, this year I had a snickers pumpkin. And, of course, it was great. So, pick one of these up today. You need it.

3. Chocolove Dark Chocolate with Cherries and Almonds: $38.70 for 12, Amazon
          Currently, this is my favorite chocolate. Don't buy it on amazon, though. That's more expensive than you can get it in the store. In Atlanta, I can usually find this at Fresh Market, the health food section of Kroger, and Whole Foods. It's smooth, has that snap when you break it apart, has crunch almonds and also chewy dried cherries. Perfection.

4. "I have Plans With My Dog" hoodie: $35.20, Human
          I mean, I don't think I have to say much about this. I want to stay home with my dog, and a hoodie sweatshirt seems most appropriate.

5. Henrik Vibskov ET Sock: $34, The Sock Hop
          When I was designing a lot of fun socks, I used to look at this site all the time. I know, I know. These are expensive for a pair of socks, but they're pretty cute. And there are a bunch of fun color combos. If you have some time, I think you should peruse the socks on this website. I find them pretty original.

6. Vans Pig Suede Court DX: $65, Vans:
          I love Vans. When the weather changes, their classic slip-ons are my go-to. I love this cool grey color, but all three colors are so good. These look like prime brunch material  with some nice jeans, a good knit top, and a great jacket.

Ok, that's it! Happy Tuesday!

Monday, October 10, 2016

5 Easy Costumes To Make With A Nude Unitard




I'm not really sure why, but I think unitards are hilarious. It's hard for me to think of anything that would be less flattering on my body. However, they exist, and so do people who can (and do) wear them. The funniest unitards of all, I think, are nude ones.

You can purchase a nude unitard on Amazon from Capezio if you want a really nice one. I'm sure you can find many, many other kinds, too, for less money. The capezio one, though, was exactly what I had in mind.

Since unitards are so funny to me, somehow when I awoke in the middle of the night last night, I thought that they were a great base for all sorts of halloween costumes. So, I've illustrated five ideas, and then there will be some additional ideas at the bottom, too, that I think you can just imagine in your head.

So, let's talk bout this.

1. A Nevernude.



          If you watched Arrested Development , then you know what this is. If you didn't, then maybe this isn't the costume for you.

2. A Showgirl:



          This is a funny way to make a "sexy" costume much less sexy. Because who needs to wear a sexy costume on halloween? For this one, you can find a crazy  hat o make one yourself with a headband. I'll leave that up to you. You can probably finding at a party supply store. Next you'll glue some sequins and rhinestones around your bust area and on the swimsuit bottoms if you like. You can either carry the feather boa or safety pin it to your hind quarters. All that's left is the heels! Voila!

3. A Sphinx Cat



          I mean, you COULD go as a a black cat, but you've done that before. Why not go as a hairless cat this time? Bonus points if your unitard is slightly baggy...like the wrinkles on a sphinx cat.

4. A Nudist



          Of course this is the most obvious choice. But, you probably already have both a hat and shoes, so the only thing you'll need is the unitard. Want to carry something around? I hear nudists carry towels around so their skin doesn't actually make contact with the furniture.

5. Vladimir Putin



          This was actually the costume that started this whole thought process in the middle of the night. Be shirtless Vladimir Putin on a horse. Just do it. Alternatively, you could also be shirtless Justin Trudeau.

Honorable Mention Ideas:

1. Adam and Eve...of course, you've probably done that one before.

2. A Flasher: Just wear a trench coat over the unitard. This has to be for the right crowd, though.

3. Censorship: Get some black foam core and position it so that it covers your unmentionables. there you go. you're censored.

4. Foundation: Wear a top hat (or make something that looks like the top of a foundation bottle), make a label with contact paper and stick it to your front, carry a big white foam wedge pillow (like an applicator)

5. A Naked Mole Rat

6. A skinny latte

7. Trolls

8. The "Soy Bomb" guy

9. Britney Spears in her naked outfit...you'll need a lot of glitter or sequins or rhinestones for that one.

10. Janet Leigh in the shower in Psycho: Oil your hair so it stays "wet" all night. you could wear a shower curtain as a cape OR you could get one of those fake knives that looks like it's already stabbed you.

11. Cerise Lannister in her shame walk.

12. Lady Godiva.

Ok. So, if you want to go "naked" (but not) for halloween, I hope you've got some ideas now. Post a photo, and I will have a good laugh.

Happy Monday!


Friday, October 7, 2016

Spinster Pins: A Little Inspiration for your Friday


It's Friday, and I thought you might want to do a little internet perusal. So, I searched Pinterest and a few other sites, and I found some things you might like to see. Some of these are Spinster-related, and some are less so. However, I think you'll find something on this list interesting. Let's have a look!

1. Apartment Essentials for Single Ladies from A Merry Life:
          I especially like her suggestion of a "go bag." I know whenever a fire alarm goes off I'm thinking "oh no! What do I even bring." This would help to solve that.

2. A Single Lady Soundtrack
          I don't know all of these songs, but the ones I do seem pretty fitting. This could be great for a spinsterly road trip.

3. 30-Day Single Lady Challenge from POPSugar
          While following this plan for an entire thirty days would have me feeling desperate and frustrated by probably the end of the first week, I think some of these things are great exercises, especially if you don't focus on the outcome. If I were to look at this as just one of those things where it's an exercise rather than a mission, I think it could really be great.

4. Recipe for One Chocolate Chip Cookie from Cooking Classy
          Ok, but let's be real. You can eat this entire cookie yourself. And, since you're a spinster, no one will ever have to know.

5. Fries Before Guys Printables from Studio DIY
          Ok, so these are labelled as Valentines on the original post. But why not make these for a girls' movie night? They're adorable.

6. This Bedside Pocket from The Container Store
          If your'e anything like me, you'll want to include some napkins, Zzzquil, and a lint roller (for dog hair) in there, too.

7. 6 Ways to Reuse a Bridesmaid Dress for Halloween from The Knot
          This is a weird article because it doesn't really explain itself. Nonetheless, if you're always a bridesmaid but never a bride (like I am), then you'll have plenty of dresses to work with, and I do think there are some good ideas here.

8. These Heels from Minna Parka are everything.
          So, if you're trying to woo me, these will at least get you a coffee date. Thanks.

9. I Just Wanna Drink Coffee and Pet My Dog Tee on Amazon
          This about sums it up. The problem is that the coffee drinks I like are like a million calories, and if I'm petting my dog, then I'm not doing work. But still, it's a very nice sentiment.

10. Political Tee Shirts from The Mountain
          The Mountain has a new line of tee shirts with past presidents and presidential candidates on them, and they are epic. I can't even describe them, so you'll have to look.

All right! That's it for me. Enjoy those links an have a happy Friday!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Seven Girly iPhone Backgrounds


A few weeks ago...maybe even like a month ago, I ordered a new phone case from AliExpress. Well, needless to say it's not here yet. It's glittery and wonderful, yet it won't get glitter all inside my purse. So, in short, it's perfect. But alas, I'm still waiting.

In the meantime, I decided I should change my phone background. Because the new iPhone 7 has a larger screen than my antique 5S, I decided to make these the size of the iPhone 7 display.

Some of these are ridiculous, and some of them are more sensible. I made them all in Adobe Illustrator, and all you have to do is save them to your camera roll in order to use them as your phone background.

So, here we go!







All right. That's it for me! I hope you find something you like here. And, you never know...I may make some more soon. Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Now Accepting Christmas Orders!


I think today's image pretty much says it all. If you're looking for something extra special and extra personal for this year's gift-giving, you might want to commission a drawing or painting of their child or pet or anything else!

I'll be accepting orders from today until November 15. Placing an order is only complete when I receive all information I need: Size, color, and reference image. Until I have all that info, I can't consider anything an actual order...so, no holding places in line.

For pricing and sizing, visit the pricing page on www.sarahjjonesart.com.

So that I can keep track of all the order info in the same place, I ask that all orders be submitted via email, not text or Facebook messenger. You can find the email address on the Contact page of www.sarahjjonesart.com.

All right! You have your timeline, let's get your holiday shopping started!

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Another Patterned Coloring Page


So, after yesterday's post, I decided to do a CAD version of the highly-patterned coloring page. The best I can tell, Laura Callaghan originally draws her girls by hand and then fills them in Photoshop or Illustrator. Since I'm an Illustrator Devotee, I decided to make mine in vector form.

I have to admit that I used a stock photo for reference (see here), but all the prints are my originals. I think this one could take hours to finish coloring if you really wanted to put some effort. So, if you are flying to Japan anytime soon, maybe you should print this coloring page out.

All right! Happy Tuesday!

Monday, October 3, 2016

Coloring Page: Inspired by Laura Callaghan


So, there is this artist I follow on Instagram and Tumblr called Laura Callaghan. I love how her drawings are so detailed and have lots of patterns. This coloring page is a little wonky (I free handed everything, so especially the rug is weird), and it doesn't have as much pattern as Callaghan's usually do, but I think it'd be fun to color.

This coloring page will fit nicely on an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper if you want to print it out and spend some time coloring on this fine Monday.

That's it for me! Happy Monday!