I'm not really sure why, but I think unitards are hilarious. It's hard for me to think of anything that would be less flattering on my body. However, they exist, and so do people who can (and do) wear them. The funniest unitards of all, I think, are nude ones.
You can purchase a nude unitard on Amazon from Capezio if you want a really nice one. I'm sure you can find many, many other kinds, too, for less money. The capezio one, though, was exactly what I had in mind.
Since unitards are so funny to me, somehow when I awoke in the middle of the night last night, I thought that they were a great base for all sorts of halloween costumes. So, I've illustrated five ideas, and then there will be some additional ideas at the bottom, too, that I think you can just imagine in your head.
So, let's talk bout this.
1. A Nevernude.
If you watched Arrested Development , then you know what this is. If you didn't, then maybe this isn't the costume for you.
2. A Showgirl:
This is a funny way to make a "sexy" costume much less sexy. Because who needs to wear a sexy costume on halloween? For this one, you can find a crazy hat o make one yourself with a headband. I'll leave that up to you. You can probably finding at a party supply store. Next you'll glue some sequins and rhinestones around your bust area and on the swimsuit bottoms if you like. You can either carry the feather boa or safety pin it to your hind quarters. All that's left is the heels! Voila!
3. A Sphinx Cat
I mean, you COULD go as a a black cat, but you've done that before. Why not go as a hairless cat this time? Bonus points if your unitard is slightly baggy...like the wrinkles on a sphinx cat.
4. A Nudist
Of course this is the most obvious choice. But, you probably already have both a hat and shoes, so the only thing you'll need is the unitard. Want to carry something around? I hear nudists carry towels around so their skin doesn't actually make contact with the furniture.
5. Vladimir Putin
This was actually the costume that started this whole thought process in the middle of the night. Be shirtless Vladimir Putin on a horse. Just do it. Alternatively, you could also be shirtless Justin Trudeau.
Honorable Mention Ideas:
1. Adam and Eve...of course, you've probably done that one before.
2. A Flasher: Just wear a trench coat over the unitard. This has to be for the right crowd, though.
3. Censorship: Get some black foam core and position it so that it covers your unmentionables. there you go. you're censored.
4. Foundation: Wear a top hat (or make something that looks like the top of a foundation bottle), make a label with contact paper and stick it to your front, carry a big white foam wedge pillow (like an applicator)
5. A Naked Mole Rat
6. A skinny latte
8. The "Soy Bomb" guy
9. Britney Spears in her naked outfit...you'll need a lot of glitter or sequins or rhinestones for that one.
10. Janet Leigh in the shower in Psycho: Oil your hair so it stays "wet" all night. you could wear a shower curtain as a cape OR you could get one of those fake knives that looks like it's already stabbed you.
11. Cerise Lannister in her shame walk.
12. Lady Godiva.
Ok. So, if you want to go "naked" (but not) for halloween, I hope you've got some ideas now. Post a photo, and I will have a good laugh.