Thursday, August 3, 2017

The Spinster's Birthday Wish List

It occurred to me today that in 11 days, I will be 32 years old. Thirty-two. What happened? I thought for sure that just five minutes ago, I was 26 years old, weighed 125 pounds, and looked great in my jeans...strange. Very strange.

In past years, I have celebrated my birthday for an entire month, but this year, I'm a bit scattered. I've got art/illustration bookings through December, but right now I'm trying to pack up my apartment so I can move. So, if you need any of the sample art pieces from my festival tent, I'd be happy for you to take them off my hands.

Aaaanyway, since my birthday is coming up, this morning in the shower I made up a birthday know, in case you want to get me something special. Feel free to start  a GoFundMe to help you fulfill this list.

Ok, now let's talk about what's actually on the list.

1. A House:

          I'll accept anything from a cozy two bedroom cottage (Miranda need her own space, of my studio goes in the guest room) to something that might best be described as a mansion or a manner. Just as long as it's a gift, and I don't have to pay rent. I'll be happy to cover the taxes, though. There's no need for you to have to pay anything beyond the broker fee, closing costs, inspector fees, the downpayment, and the mortgage. I'm not an unreasonable person.

2. A Sanitations Specialist:

          With this house you're getting me, I'll need someone to keep it clean. I prefer this person is a professional who enjoys their work and sees no need to complain to me about what a slob I am. They'll come and clean, you pay them, and then they'll leave...until they come back the next week.

3. To Be Independently Wealthy:

          I need this so that I can focus on the two most important things: keeping Miranda company and making stuff.
          Note: Sugar Daddies will be considered, but unless a platonic arrangement can be reached, they will most likely be rejected. I'm thinking something more along the lines of the Medici if I must depend on someone.

4. My Own Gallery Show:

          I think a person could probably make this happen easily enough, but the idea here is that you would gift the space and the event to me for my birthday. I've always wanted to have a gallery show. Plus, if we sell the artwork at the show, then I could be on my way to Wish List Item #3.

Any questions?

My birthday is August 12th, so I guess you'd better get started. Thank you!